Soft Target
by reverse-swing
Summary: 'It's some time around midnight when Alex realises the gravity of what she's done'. When Alex Vause is given her latest assignment, she views it as just another security job. Little does she know that the person she's been sent to protect, is about to throw both her life and past demons into sharp focus, as the assignment, soon becomes a dangerous liaison.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello all. This is my new fic. Hope you enjoy it. Just to give you the heads up that updates are likely to be a bit sporadic for various reasons, but I don't like incomplete stories, so I won't leave ya hanging. Let me know your thoughts.**

 **Special thanks to Vausemaniac for this prompt and also the title.**

 **Enjoy.**

 _Excerpt 1_

 _ **SUMMARY OF ARGUMENT**_

 _ **IN A CLAIM FOR THE ATTEMPTED MANSLAUGHTER OF DONOVAN NEWLOVE BY ALEXANDRA VAUSE**_

 _In such a claim, it is necessary to ascertain whether there was a specific intent to kill, attempted voluntary manslaughter: heat of passion or whether there was no crime of attempted involuntary manslaughter._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Alex is lying on the floor of the bathroom, naked. She presses the small of her back, flatter against the white ceramic tiles and closes her eyes momentarily, allowing herself to savour the sensation of the coolness against her skin, before she opens them again, gaze flicking up to the bare light bulb, gently swaying from the ceiling, encapsulated by billowing steam from the shower, until it's nothing more than a blurry amber glow.

It wasn't meant to be like this, she had plan, things were going well and then, almost as soon as the gentle summer breeze shifted to a crisp autumnal nip, so did her fortunes.

'Al….Alex…how much longer you gonna be in there?' Nicky bellows as she bangs on the bathroom door. 'Did you hear me Vause? You're gonna look like a goddamn prune if you're not careful'. She pauses, her ear to the door, listening for any human sounds, but all she can hear is the pulsing of water from the shower.

'I swear to god Vause' she continues, panic beginning to rise, 'if you don't answer me in the next five seconds, then I'm going to break the fucking door down and _you_ can explain _that_ to the landlord. One…..two…..' her voice is shaky now, hoping she's just thinking the worst, that Alex's black moods of last year are just a thing of the past. 'three….four….'

Alex sighs and scrambles up from the floor. 'Jesus Nichols' she yells back, isn't it possible to even get a few minutes peace and quiet around here?'

'Cut the bullshit, you've been in there half an hour already, now unless you've got somebody with you and I hope to fuck you haven't, because the silence would suggest she's having less than a great time, I suggest you finish up so that I can pee. This is my house too!'

'Alright Alright, gimme ten ok? Practice using those Kegal muscles or something' Alex snaps back and immediately feels guilty, because she knows that her friend is just looking out for her after everything that's happened and she can't blame her for the concern, after all, if the roles were reversed, she would be exactly the same. She stands over the sink, staring straight into the fuggy mirror and with a fingertip; she cuts through the mist, slowly tracing the initials A.L. They stare back at her, accusatorily.

A.L.

The biggest mistake of her life.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The coffee is good; strong and smooth and god knows she needs it today. Alex stares at the vase of Lillies sat on the reception desk: flowers of death and waits to be summoned into the meeting room. Behind the heavy wooden door, her fate is being decided and it's frustrating, because she has no input into it whatsoever, but then she should be used to it by now, because since last Fall, it feels as if she's been losing a grip of just about everything in her life.

The door creaks open and the sound jars with Alex, setting her further on edge. She should have gone for a smoke, but it's too late now. It's time to bite the bullet.

Erika, one of the director's summons her in. She's tall, slim, golden brown curls framing a heart shaped face; hard blue eyes regard Alex firmly. 'We're ready for you' she says, failing to reveal any discernible emotion and Alex can feel her stomach knot involuntarily. She leaves her coffee cup on the end table and follows Erika into the room.

Alex takes a seat at the head of the boardroom table, watching Erika slide into the chair next to Stefan and begin shuffling through a pile of paperwork in front of her. Stefan unscrews a bottle of water and pours them each a glass.

'How's the rehab going?' he asks, narrowed grey eyes scrutinising her closely, his angular face juxtaposing the syrupy smooth voice.

Alex's eyes immediately dart around the room panicked. She's missed her last three therapy sessions, favouring increasingly heavy drinking and smoking. The shrink was such a fucking cliché anyway, _'how does that make you feel?'_ but she doesn't suppose this is the response that either Stefan or Erika are looking for and it certainly won't help save her job, so she lies. 'Great' she says, forcing the corners of her mouth into a smile with difficulty, almost as if she's forgotten how to do it. But Stefan's gaze remains fixed on her; he's not convinced, so she adds more, tries to flesh it out, make it more compelling some how. 'I just feel so much better….ready….'

'Ready?' Stefan repeats.

'Uh, yea…y'know, to come back to work'. Her eyes flit back to Erika who is now hurriedly scribbling things down and Alex is wishing she'd chosen a different seat, one that would allow her to see if Erika's notes are going to end the only piece of self worth she's ever know. The truth is she wants this job….needs it because if she's honest, it's the only thing in her whole goddamn life she's been any good at.

'Well, you know how much we value your work Alex'. Stefan leans back in his chair a little, 'in fact, I don't think I would be speaking out of turn if I said you were one of the best we've ever taken on at Black Diamond Security'

Alex takes a sip of water, trying to calm herself. Surely he wouldn't be saying all of these things if he had no intention of re-hiring her?

'But…'

And there it is. She finds herself having to bite back a sigh as she waits for the final hammer blow. She glances out of the window, looking out onto the city below. The day has taken on a dark, eerie stillness as clouds roll in overhead. The air tinged with expectation and then she's snapped out of her reverie as Stefan resumes speaking.

'If you're going to return, it will have to be on a probationary basis'

'Sorry?' she says, not quite believing what she has heard.

Stefan smiles softly, because he knows just how much this means to her.

'I said, your return is going to involve a probation period, six months to be precise, but I don't anticipate there will be any problems.' He pauses, the smile suddenly transformed into something thin lipped and firmer as he reverts back to a steely stare.

'But be sure of this Alex, I don't believe in _third_ chances and we simply cannot afford any more bad press, the trial caused a down turn in business for us for a short while and we're only just recovering from it, I can't have anything like that compromising us again. You understand?'

Alex nods emphatically, 'of course, I completely understand and you've got nothing to worry about, nothing at all, I've learnt my lesson'. She's not lying, if the trial has taught her anything, it's the catastrophic snowball effect that actions can have and it's not something she plans on repeating, ever.

'Good' he replies, his fingers gently tapping the tabletop. 'We have the new contract for you here' he says, taking a manila envelope from Erika and passing it to Alex. 'Take a look over it this evening and if you're happy, sign it and hand it in tomorrow and Nichols will give you you're next assignment. Ok?'

'Absolutely', Alex replies, desperately trying to contain the unbridled joy that is threatening to capsize her.

'It's good to have you back on board Alex' he says, offering his hand.

'It's good to be back' she replies, shaking it firmly, 'and thank you, I really appreciate this'.

New beginnings she thinks to herself.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _Press conference_

' _John Abraham, New York Times, Sir, can you confirm how long the affair between your employee and your client had been going on for? Claims are leading us to believe it was around a year, is this correct?'_

' _I can neither confirm nor deny this, i'm not aware of the full details of the case myself…no doubt the impending trial will clarify this'_

' _Lara Gibbon, New York Post, can you confirm if on the night in question, your employee was off duty and if so, why was she was carrying the firearm provided to her by Black Diamond Security?'_

' _I am not at liberty to reveal this information due to the imminent trial'_

' _Lincoln Davenport, Newsday, can you confirm if Black Diamond Security will continue to trade once the trial commences?'_

' _I can confirm that it will be business as usual at Black Diamond. This incident was an isolated event in the company's otherwise flawless thirty-year history. We believe we still provide the highest quality personal security services and will continue to do so.'_

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The music is bad and the beer is warm, but Alex is ok with that. She has to be. The bar is far enough out of town that she won't be recognized, but no so remote that she will be regarded with undue suspicion. It's been months, she's bound to be slipping out of the public consciousness by now, but even so, she doesn't like taking undue risks, she can do without the attention.

A football game plays on the TV and the bartender is more fixated on this than servicing his patrons.

'Buddy' Alex yells over the din of the terrible eighties rock music. But the bartender is too engrossed to acknowledge her.

'Hey!' she says, louder this time. Still no response. So she leans across the bar top snatches up a bottle of tequila and shots it straight into her mouth. Almost on cue, the lanky barman turns around and spots her.

'Hey, you can't do that' he says clumsily trying to grab the bottle out of her hands and instead dropping it to the floor where it smashes, 'ahhh shit, now look what you've done' he says staring back at her and then he pauses as if something's clicked in his brain. 'Wait a second….you're you're…..Alex Vause'

Alex swallows hard, clearly she was wrong, this place wasn't far enough out of town.

'From the trial that was on TV a while back….Black Diamond Security…' and now the smashed bottle of tequila is the last thing on his mind.

'Keep your voice down will you' Alex hisses, not wanting to become tonight's entertainment.

'Wow, I mean you look hotter in real life' he says, a goofy grin on his face.

'When you're done with the staring, can you get me the bill'

'Can I get a picture with you?'

'What?!'

'It's just that my buddies won't believe me unless I've got a picture with you' he continues, fumbling around in the pocket of his jeans for his cell phone.

Alex has run out of patience now, 'can you just get me the fucking bill?!' she snaps, slamming her fist down on the bar top and rattling the glasses that have been set down on it.

'Woah! Calm down, some temper you got there…..you can have your bill…..just gimme a second….jeez, surprised the jury let you off…..' he mumbles, but if Alex wasn't meant to hear, then it's too late. She reaches over the bar, grabbing the scrawny man by the collars of his shirt and pulls him so close, she can smell the joint in the pocket of his shirt.

'Look you fucking moron, I don't need this bullshit from you. Yea, the jury _did_ let me off, but don't forget this, I _am_ a trained killer and now _I_ know where _you_ work, so I suggest you keep quiet about this. You got me?'

The man nods, his breath caught in the back of his throat.

'Good' she continues before tossing some dollar bills on the counter top, 'keep the change' and then she downs the rest of her beer and leaves.

As she hits the sidewalk, the fall breeze slices at her sharply and she immediately regrets snapping. He was just some jumped up kid shooting his mouth off and she needs to keep her nose clean right now, not be involved in some stupid brawl at a beat up watering hole out of town. She glances back up at the bar, makes a mental note of the name and resigns herself to the fact that she won't be able to return here again. This is her life now, hiding in shadows, staying on the periphery of existence and there's not a goddamn thing she can do about it.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Piper is in quarantine; at least that's what it feels like. Her bodyguard hasn't shown up for work today and as a result, it's not been deemed safe enough to leave her residence. So here she is, holed up in the pool house, dangling her feet in the water, watching tiny waves lightly ripple the surface and wishing she was normal.

'Hey Pipes' a familiar voice says. She looks round and spots her friend Polly. She takes a seat on a sun lounger that's placed next to Piper.

'You ok?'

'No' Piper replies sullen. 'I'm stuck at fucking home because Bennett has gone AWOL'

'Bennett? The baby faced guy?'

'Yea'

'The one with the cute dimples and even cuter ass?'

'I guess…..nice to know you've been keeping such a close eye on _my_ security staff, kinda explains why you're always keen to come over' she grins.

'Fuck you Piper, you know I'm happy with Pete' Polly says defensively. 'It was just an observation'

'Uh huh, sure it was'

'It was!'

'Ok ok fine. Well if you were hoping to go out, it's not gonna happen, not until we hire someone new, the agency is due to call me shortly and tell me who's been assigned.

'What? You've got like three other security people, why can't you use one of them to go in the car with you?'

'They're all trained to do different things Poll. The guys that are on the sidelines deal with logistics and intelligence, whereas Bennett was more direct personal protection'

'Oh yea?' Polly says grinning.

'Ewww Poll, you might see him like that, but I certainly didn't, I tell you what though, if he ever returns, I'll be sure to pass on your details, ok?'

'Hilarious' Polly says, gently nudging Piper with her foot. 'Anyway, while I'm here, Pete's friend Marco is doing a DJ set at a bar up town this Saturday, you should come, it will be fun and it's about time you got back out there'

'Eurgh'

'That's _such_ a sexy noise Pipes, I'm surprised men are not falling at your feet when you can do that'

'I'm just so over the whole dating thing and I still can't leave my own fucking house to go buy milk'

'Since when have you ever gone out to buy milk?'

'Well….maybe I would if I could….you don't know…anyway that isn't the point, I'm like a caged animal half the fucking time and it's driving me insane. I'm twenty four, these are supposed to be the most amazing years of my life and instead I can't even go for a pee without someone mumbling something into a walkie talkie!'

'Come on Piper' Polly says, placing a placatory hand on her friend's shoulder, 'it won't always be like this'

'Won't it?' Piper replies, dejected. She kicks the water in frustration breaking the relative calm that had settled around them.

'There's no point getting angry, it is what it is, you just gotta make the best of it and that should include coming out this Saturday…..so you up for it?'

Piper doesn't reply, her gaze fixed out across the gently bobbing water.

'Please' Polly continues, gently tugging at her friends arm.

'Fine, i'll come but if it's boring, I'm not gonna hang around and play Gooseberry to you and Pete' Before she can lay down any more ground rules, her phone begins to ring. She pulls it out of the pocket of her shorts. 'It's the agency' she says to her friend, 'I've got to take this'.

'Hello?'

'Hello, is that Ms Chapman?'

'Yes it is'

'This is Stefan Forsberg from Black Diamond Security, I'm pleased to advise you we've assigned a new Close Protection Officer for you, they will be with you within the next hour. This is a _very_ experienced member of the team and I think you will be most satisfied with their work. If you have any issues however, then please call me directly and I'll be happy to run through any queries with you. I would also like to offer my sincere apologies for the disappearance of John Bennett, we're currently making further enquiries into this matter'.

'Well thank you for your call Mr Forsberg, i'm pleased you've been able to assign a replacement so quickly'.

'You're most welcome Ms Chapman. Have a good day….'

Piper is just about to end the call when she suddenly remembers something, 'Oh Mr Forsberg'

'Yes?'

'What's the name of the new Close Protection Officer?'

'Oh yes, my apologies' he says and now the tone of his voice changes, hesitant, shaky almost and Piper has no idea why, only that it's making her feel uncomfortable.

'The name is Vause. Alex Vause'


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: It's been a little while, but I've been distracted, in a nice way, but distracted all the same. But here is something for you.**_

 _ **The Devil's Hour stuff is a flash forward 12 months. The rest should be self- explanatory.**_

 _ **Enjoy.**_

 _It's a deep, rich crimson: a viscous pool of danger, in which he is sprawled._

' _What the fuck did you do!' Ava screams at Alex, as Donovan's body lies broken and barely stirring on the kitchen floor. She rushes over to him, gently resting his head in her lap, the blood from the gun shot wounds, creeping across her white dress; a deadly flower in bloom. She stares up at Alex, hazel eyes glassy and scared. 'You shot him' she chokes out. And suddenly the gun feels like a dead weight in Alex's hand, glinting in the false light of the kitchen. She stuffs it back into the holster hurriedly as the reality of the situation begins to dawn on her._

' _We need to call an ambulance' Ava says, half yelling half sobbing and yet Alex cannot move, somehow her limbs will not comply with what her brain is commanding of her._

' _Alex!'_

 _The word escapes Ava's lips in such a twisted, primal howl that Alex is snapped out of her state of dumb shock._

' _Call someone…NOW! He's going die'._

 _And still Donovan is barely twitching and Alex can hardly believe that mere minutes ago, this same man was tossing back shot after shot of bourbon, flashing a Hollywood smile and telling Alex in no uncertain terms, where 'dyke bitches' like her belonged and even now, the thought is making her blood boil as she clenches her fists firmly at her side, staring over at the half empty bottle of liquor, the crystal glass, smashed on the floor in the struggle; jagged rain drops._

 _She looks back over at his body, the port coloured puddle, shrieking against the pristine white of the marble tiles and without thinking, she's yanking her phone out of her pocket and stabbing 911 into the keypad._

 _The operator sounds flat and mechanical, just another call, before her shift ends and she can return to Formica worktops, a deadbeat husband and last night's left over meatloaf. Alex provides the address and is told the medics will be there as soon as they can. They ask her to leave a name, she doesn't, as if this will absolve her from_ _that_ _moment of impulse, the searing slash in her resolve._

' _He's not going to make it' Ava says, almost to herself, still cradling Donovan's head, her face contorted in pain and a wave of nausea washes over her Alex, as she realises what this could mean, if this man were to die and suddenly her training is kicking in._

 _She hurries over to Donovan, his pale face, lack lustre, thin, grey lips, muttering incomprehensibly as if possessed by some strange demon. Her eyes dart around the kitchen, searching for something from which she can fashion a makeshift tourniquet._

' _Dish cloths, where are they?' she snaps._

' _What?' Ava replies confused._

' _I need a fucking dish cloth, don't you have any?' Alex continues, frantically pulling cupboards and drawers open haphazardly._

' _Under the sink' she mutters, brow furrowed._

 _Alex opens the cupboard and snatches up a handful of blue cloths. With the sharpest knife she can find, she slices the fabric into three long strips. Her hands are shaking, which makes the task trickier than she would like, so she has to score the material repeatedly before the strands of thread are weak enough to tear, but she manages it somehow._

 _Her eyes flash back to Donovan, the pool of blood swelling around him and branching out slightly: a lilac finger pointing directly at her: accusatorily. She shakes her head as if trying to dislodge the thought and then it's a blur. Leaden fingers fashioning a clumsy bandage: ineffectually trying to stem the blood, which stubbornly refuses to clot. But the blue fabric is quickly saturated, a sickening purple splodge; burst fruit and the tangy coppery scent is making her head swim and her guts wrench in a way she cannot fathom._

 _Ava's sobs have dropped to a gentle whimper as Alex works as quickly as she can and all the while, the air swirls thickly around them, laced with things that neither of them has the courage to bring to their lips, because tonight, a line was crossed and neither of them knows where it will all end. Maybe they never did._

 _Alex's finishes up, satisfied the flow of blood has stemmed a little and drags herself over to the sink._

' _How long until the medics said they would be here?' Ava asks, her voice cracking._

 _But Alex ignores her, instead staring down at her hands. She plugs the sink, turns the hot water top to full blast and empties the whole bottle of washing up liquid into the basin. When it's half full, she twists the tap off and plunges her hands straight into the soapy bubbles. The water is hot enough to make her wince, but she forces herself to keep her hands submerged and soon it has turned cloudy pink, a fresh wave of horror washes over her._

' _Al?' Ava says scrambling up from the floor 'Are you ok?'_

 _But Alex remains silent, staring down at the ever darkening water, until she can no longer see her fingers. She steadies herself momentarily, her legs feeling like jelly and removes her hands, examining them closely. Crests of blood have settled under her fingernails and she picks at them so aggressively that Ava has to hurry over to stop her._

' _Alex, you need to stay calm, because if we both lose it then….'_

' _I just can't wash this fucking stuff off me!' Alex snaps. She grabs a ball of wire wool from a dish next to the sink and begins scrubbing her skin. The pain is excruciating at first, but soon she feels numb to it and yet when she stares down, the blood is still there, thick and glossy: indelible. 'It just won't…I can't get it off!' she says almost screaming. When she looks up, Ava is staring at her confused, her body turned slightly away from Alex as if she's fearful._

' _Fuck's save Ava, I need your help…I need to wash this blood off my fucking hands'_

 _Ava shakes her head, parting her lips slightly to speak, so softly, it's little more than a mere whisper. 'There is no blood on your hands Alex, it's all gone…'_

 _Alex stares back down at her hands incredulous, because it's still there, clear as day and she's wondering if this goddamn girl has lost her mind. It isn't until she's at the hospital later that evening that she realises, it isn't Ava that's going fucking crazy. It's her._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _ **Devil's hour- conversations and confusions**_

 _They were midnight's children, something gave them life, allowed them to form and grow: together._

 _They lie on the damp grass, hands by their sides, fingers loosely interlocked and stare up unblinking, into the eyes of the star smattered canvas. A cigarette sits comfortably between Alex's lips as she takes a deep drag, before exhaling, watching the smoke unfurl and snake into the inkiness beyond._

' _Can I have a drag?' Piper asks, turning to face her slightly._

' _You don't smoke, you keep telling me how bad it is for my health' Alex says, a curious smile playing at the corners of her lips._

' _It is…but it looks hot' she says grinning._

' _You wanna smoke because it looks hot? Are we in high school again?' Alex laughs, 'besides, I'm pretty sure you won't enjoy it'._

' _You don't know that' Piper says a little put out. She shifts her position so she's leaning back on her elbows, her sweater, clammy against her skin. 'I've smoked before'_

' _Oh really?' Alex says sitting up and crossing her legs 'and how did that work out for you?'_

 _Piper drops her gaze to the frosty grass beneath them. 'I may or may not have been grounded for a month and missed the end of year prom….'_

' _Prom' Alex repeats smiling, 'ever make Prom Queen?'_

' _Twice'_

' _Of course you did'_

' _Ask a stupid question…'_

' _Touche'_

' _So you gonna give me a drag of your cigarette or not?' she says, making a grab for it, but Alex is too quick for her and instead, she's swiping into nothingness._

' _Hey!' she whines in protest._

' _I'm gonna go one better' Alex says, taking another long hard pull on the cigarette. But this time, instead of exhaling, she leans over to kiss Piper, her lips firmly pressed against hers, before she has a chance to complain. Piper parts her mouth in response, like she always does and only then does Alex exhale and Piper's head is swimming; a heady mix of tobacco smoke and Alex, it catches her throat making her cough a little and she pulls away slightly to regulate her breath and she has no idea why, but she swears she feels a little high._

' _Was that just a…..a regular cigarette?' she asks, feeling a little foolish._

' _What other kind is there?'_

' _Fuck you, you know what I mean'_

' _Sure was, but it felt good right?' Alex says grinning._

' _Maybe…'_

' _Only maybe? Cos the big stupid smile on your face is saying otherwise..'_

' _Definitely maybe….so you gonna come back with me tonight?' Piper says, her eyes, big and blue and inviting._

 _Alex shakes her head, remembering the last time she had to sneak around and how she had almost been caught out._

' _Please?' she continues and then she drops her voice a little, making the edges of her words softer, more sincere, 'I just….miss you when you're gone'. And it immediately tugs at that place in Alex's ribcage that she doesn't remember granting access to and she's battling with herself, because she knows what the answer should be and why all of this could be placing Piper in even more danger._

' _Piper…..' she begins, but she doesn't want to end the sentence with what she had planned, she can't quite bring herself to. So against her better judgment she agrees._

 _They fool around a little like errant teenagers and by the time they're scrambling up from the dewy ground, it's too late to head back to the house without arousing suspicion, so they sleep in the car, limbs entwined messily, Alex's finger's laced gently through Piper's hair, but she's on edge, because she knows that when she's lying here with her like this, she's putting her further at risk. So she pulls Piper a little closer, holds her a little tighter and waits for sunrise, promising herself that tomorrow she will do better._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The drive is longer than it needs to be, the car warmer and it's making Alex agitated. 'Any chance you could switch on the air con Raoul? Or at the very least crack a window?' she asks the driver.

'Air con?' you've only been back on the job five minutes and you're already making ladeedaaa requests. He replies grinning, but he flicks it on all the same.

'Jackass' Alex mutters under her breath as she hunkers down into the passenger seat and stares out of the window at the drizzle that appears to have settled in for the day. The details of the case float around hazily in her brain. She should have looked at the case notes more carefully. But she's never cared for second hand information, so the grey file lies discarded on the backseat of the car.

The client is young and blonde and ' _smoking hot_ 'according to Nichols, but right now the only concrete thing that Alex can recall is a name; Piper Chapman and she finds herself whispering it to herself, her breath making fuggy patches on the window, only stopping when she notices Raoul staring over at her strangely.

'You want me to pull over somewhere Vause? You seem a little…errr….distracted' he says, trying to find a kinder word than 'nuts'.

'I'd prefer if you could get us of out of this goddamn traffic jam' Alex replies running a finger around the heavily starched collar of her white uniform shirt.

'Well, unless you can find yourself a pair of wings, you're just gonna have to wait it out' he replies.

'What do you know about Chapman?' Alex asks, deciding to change the subject and wondering why she hadn't thought of tapping into this resource earlier.

Raoul shrugs his burly shoulders, 'I'm not always on _this j_ ob, so I don't see her all the time, but she seems alright I suppose'

'Alright?'

'Yea…kinda quiet…thoughtful maybe'

'She got a boyfriend?'

Raoul shakes his head, 'not one that I've seen, but like I say, generally she's quiet, keeps herself to herself, so maybe she has, I've just not heard her mention one…'

'Hmmmmm…close friends?'

'Just the one really. Polly Harper'

'Piper Chapman and Polly Harper?' Alex says grinning, 'If I didn't know better, I would say someone was shitting me. Piper and Polly….a poor man's Thelma and Louise?'

Raoul laughs, 'they aint those sort of folk…they're proper'

'Uh huh and they're always the worst fucking kind' Alex replies bluntly, her mind flitting back to _that_ night, thoughts threatening to bubble up to the surface, which she forces back down hurriedly.

She sighs, her mood mirroring the dank day, snatches the file up from the seat behind her and begins to read about client #22678.

Piper Elizabeth Chapman.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _She only wants milk and eggs, but as soon as she sets foot outside the door of her apartment she knows this is a bad idea._

' _Ms Vause, Ms Vasuse…can you confirm how you feel about the charges laid against your daughter?'_

 _She pulls her coat around her tightly, head dipped down, avoiding any sort of eye contact, anything that may be deemed as encouragement. They had camped out here for a couple of days last week, a neighbor had told her, but Diane was visiting a friend out of state, trying to come to terms with it all, after Alex had refused to see her._

 _She'd been back three days and no one had troubled her, so she had assumed they had given up, that this has become old news. But it's only now that she's realising just how wrong she was and just how blood thirsty_ _they_ _are._

 _She hurries down the path from her apartment block and tries to swerve them, but they're tailing her now, all down the sidewalk, half a dozen or so of them, thrusting tape recorders at her, camera flashes blindsiding her momentarily. She stumbles into a letterbox and hurriedly tries to regain her balance, her composure less easy to locate._

' _Ms Vause, can you confirm that you were aware about the relationship your daughter was having with Ava Lawrence'_

 _But still she picks up her pace, only pausing briefly to cross the road and narrowly avoiding an errant cyclist._

' _Ms Vause, were you aware your daughter was a lesbian?'_

 _And the flurry of questions will not let up, a hailstorm of noise and aggression, until eventually she finds herself outside the convenience store, exhausted and breathless and never in her life has she wanted to cry more._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _ **Devil's hour- conversations and confusions**_

 _They were midnight's children, something gave them life, allowed them to form and grow: together._

' _Come sit in the back with me Alex…I mean Vause' Piper says giggling tipsily._

 _Polly nudges her in the ribs harder than is strictly required and Alex can't tell whether it's because she knows something, if Piper has told her what's happening between them._

' _Ow!' Piper says recoiling, 'What was that for?'_

' _You're being obnoxious and drunk' Polly snaps 'and you're not supposed to have your protection officer in the back with you'_

' _Why not? I think I'm in need of some_ _close_ _protection, the sort of protection that can't be given from the front seat of a car'_

 _Alex's eyes flick up to the rear view mirror and meet Piper's, they're glinting with the promise of something…she knows what, because they haven't fucked in days on account of Alex trying to impart some distance between them, but the way she is feeling right now and seeing how that dress is presently riding up Piper's thighs, she's not sure just how much longer her resolve is going to last. But even so, she needs to play it cool and Raoul is already furrowing his brow in confusion at Piper's latest ramblings._

' _Come on Alex' she says, almost purring, 'come sit with me….and as I need_ _real close_ _protection, maybe I should sit on your lap'._

 _Alex's eyes remained fixed on the mirror, willing Piper to stop, before she does any further damage, but if she's noticed the desperation in Alex's stare, she's choosing to ignore it, she just licks her lips and smiles, leaning back in her seat a little._

' _Piper!' Polly hisses, irritated._

 _And Alex bristles at her tone. Yup, she definitely knows something is going on._

' _Raoul, Polly needs to be dropped off ASAP' Piper continues 'and then take me some place for a night cap'. Her eyes glance back up to the mirror, catching Alex's stare, because she knows that anywhere she goes, Alex has to go too and she's teasing her, prolonging the inevitable, because now Alex is as certain as she can be, that they_ _are_ _going to fuck tonight._

' _Anything else Ms Chapman?' Raoul says, slightly amused._

' _Yes' she replies, suddenly a little sombre, 'you need to pull over, I think I'm gonna be sick'._


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Bonjour folks (I know I know, I'm super continental). First off thanks for all your reviews, they're always great to read and more often than not, extremely insightful.**_

 _ **For the purposes of this chapter, the devil's hour stuff is set a year in the future and the rest should be self-explanatory.**_

 _ **Enjoy.**_

The house is pretty much like all the other properties that Alex has seen over the course of the years. After all, close protection is a luxury only afforded to the well to do. It's large, sprawling, clean lines and grounds as far as the eye can see; a manifestation of the Republican dream. The housekeeper, whose name Alex didn't catch, gives her a whistle-stop tour of the place, including the bedroom that adjoins Piper Chapman's. She's told, in the past, it has been necessary for Ms Chapman's close protection officer to spend the night there. She doesn't go into detail, but from the notes that Alex can recollect, she can guess why.

The tour concludes in the kitchen, where Alex is greeted with the smell of brewing coffee and a plate of freshly baked banana and walnut muffins. The housekeeper pours the drink into a mug and hands it to Alex. She takes a deep sip; it's good, rich and smooth and makes her mind feel a little less cluttered.

'Mmmmmm, muffins, I'm famished' a voice says. Alex turns round and is greeted by a tall, slim blonde, padding bare foot into the kitchen. She's wearing shorts, exposing lightly bronzed legs and a white tank. She has a towel in hand and is roughly drying the ends of her damp hair. The radiance of her blue eyes, adds a little relief to the gloom of the soggy day.

The housekeeper introduces her to Alex and for a few seconds, Piper Chapman is staring at her with a look of bemusement. But rather than making Alex feel uncomfortable, she finds herself having to suppress a smile, because there's something rather intriguing about this girl. A face that doesn't give too much away, but the lines are soft enough for Alex to know that she isn't cut from the same cloth as the usual socialite brat that she's used to contending with. And her eyes, they're shimmering with something that Alex can't quite place, but she likes it all the same.

'Alex' Piper repeats, almost as if she's breathing the name, as if it's elicited from deep within her.

'Hi' Alex says, extending a hand.

The blonde drops the damp towel onto a bar stool and shakes Alex's hand lightly, warily. 'I'm sorry, I must seem like an idiot standing here and gawking at you, but Black Diamond didn't tell me that you were…a….woman, I just presumed with the name Alex that you would be a man…and….you're not'

'Well, observation is a key part of my job, but it's good to know you've got some of those skills too' Alex replies grinning and immediately, Piper flushes in response.

'Rest assured, I'm more than capable of doing this job just as well as any man'. She pauses, leaning in a little further, 'in fact, some things, I can do _even better_ '.

'Oh, no I didn't mean…well…I…' Words come tumbling out of Piper's mouth hurriedly as if they can't keep up with her thought process. 'I didn't mean to imply that…'

Alex smiles, 'don't worry about it Ms. Chapman, you're not the first person to have made that mistake and i'm sure that you won't be the last'.

Her words immediately seem to put Piper at ease. 'Well, she says, snatching up a muffin from the plate and offering one to Alex who declines, 'you've already said more to me in a few minutes then Bennett said to me in the whole three months that he was working here'. She laughs lightly, and it hits her eyes in a way that catches Alex off guard a little. She takes another sip of coffee, continuing to regard Piper over the rim of her mug.

'Ex military, they're always a little more broody I guess' Alex replies flatly.

'I'm not an awfully big fan of broody' Piper says, picking a walnut from the top of the muffin and popping it into her mouth. 'So what's your background?'

Alex pauses, thoughts suddenly flooding her brain. Snatches of the court case haphazardly illuminating her mind: an errant camera flash. Piper doesn't know, she thinks to herself and part of her is really glad of that, real fucking thrilled, because for the first time in months, this is a clean slate. 'Oh, just this and that' she replies.

'This and that? Is being vague part of the job description?'

Alex shrugs.

'Vague is my least favourite thing….more so than broody'.

'Well, I'm more than qualified to take care of you, that's all you need to worry about and if you have any concerns, then you can of course direct them to the agency'. Alex's tone is changed now, slightly, firmer, more professional, because this is a _job_ and she's only survived this far on the goodwill of Stefan, but even that has a limit and she doesn't want to risk pushing it one last time.

She straightens up, places the coffee cup on the breakfast bar and asks Piper Chapman for her day's schedule.

'Well' she says, her tone playful, 'I've just been for a swim and now I need a shower, but I'm pretty sure that I won't need any close protection in there' she laughs 'unless you scrub the back of all your clients?'

She's making a joke and in any other circumstance Alex would smile, even fire a quip back, but she can't afford to do that, not now, because if there's something she's learnt over the past year, it's that _everything_ is open to misinterpretation.

'I'm pretty sure you can do that yourself' she replies a little blunter than she intended and she can see that Piper is slightly confused by the shift in tone.

'Ok, well this evening I'm going to a bar up town, I'll confirm the details with my friend and let you know later on' Piper replies, the affability dissipating abruptly.

'And this friend?' Alex says, although she has a pretty good idea of who it will be, based on the conversation she had with Raoul.

'Polly Harper'

'That's fine. Ok, so I need to go and speak to the other guys on the job' Alex says hooking a thumb over her right shoulder, 'but I hope my services will be satisfactory to you. We're pretty discreet on the whole, as I'm sure you experienced with Bennett, so most of the time, it should be like I'm not even here'.

Piper smiles back blankly and she doesn't know why, but Alex's last sentence has filled her with disappointment. She tries to shake it off as she makes her way up the stairs to shower, but she is as certain as she can be, that there's a lot more to this close protection officer than meets the eye. And she kinda likes it.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _Excerpt 2_

 _3\. On the night of September 24_ _th_ _2012, it is alleged by the prosecution, that in a fit of jealous rage and in a heavily inebriated state, Ms. Vause arrived at Mr. Lovegood's residence at approximately 11.00pm. She attempted to bypass security, who proceeded to remove her from the grounds._

 _The two security guards in question, Mr. Matthews and Mr. Lorenzo, both confirmed in their witness statements, that the smell of alcohol was prevalent on the breath of Ms. Vause. They also confirmed that when they initially attempted to remove her from the grounds, Ms. Vause drew her company issue handgun, specifically, a Glock G19 and pointed it directly at Mr. Lorenzo stating 'if you don't get the fuck out of my way right now, I'm gonna put a bullet straight through that fat head of yours'. A scuffle then ensued which resulted in Ms. Vause being removed._

 _Neither of the security guards called the Police because, as stated by Mr. Matthews in his statement, they assumed that Ms. Vause was merely behaving in that manner because she was 'smashed and not thinking straight'. Mr. Lorenzo also stated that he had noticed Ms. Vause's pupils appeared dilated, which he presumed was an indication that she had also taken some form of narcotic._

 _Both of the guards confirmed they saw Ms. Vause making her way back up the street and then lost sight of her as she reached the adjoining main road. She did not return to Mr. Lovegood's premises that evening._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _ **Devil's hour-conversations and confusions**_

 _They were midnight's children, something gave them life, allowed them to form and grow: together._

 _She's sipping her lime soda slowly, propped up against the bar, watching Piper sway her hips to the music rhythmically, remembering how they were grinding against her only a few days ago. But now Alex has put a stop to all of that, for the third time in as many weeks, because whatever it is they are doing, the issues around which they are skirting, cannot keep being ignored. The consequences for both of them are far too dire to contemplate._

 _Piper had complained and sulked, insisting that they weren't doing anything wrong, but Alex remained firm, maintaining her resolve. Although now, as her eyes trace each delicious movement that Piper is making, she can feel a yearning festering, a warmth spreading through her, pulsing in her veins, a trace of Piper on every breath and she's quickly realising why she cracked on the previous two occasions._

 _Piper's gaze flicks up to meet hers, too quickly for Alex to avert her eyes and Piper smiles mischievously, because she knows precisely what Alex is thinking and it's giving her immeasurable pleasure that she has this hold over her. That for all of Alex's training and weaponry, all Piper needs to do is look at her in a particular way and she's immediately left exposed, defences vanished._

 _Alex takes another sip of her drink and glances down at the time on her watch. It's nearly 3am and yet Piper is showing no signs of wanting to leave. She's prolonging the torture as much as she can._

' _You know, you can stop looking at her for a second, she won't suddenly turn to stone'. It's Polly Harper, being her usual charming self. A mood she appears to reserve specially for Alex._

' _It's my job' Alex replies, cold and flat, not even bothering to look at her._

' _Yea? Well it sure as hell isn't your job to fuck her is it?'_

 _She's got her attention now, because this is the first time Polly has openly acknowledged knowing something about them. Alex doesn't reply, she wants to see how this plays out, just how much she_ _does_ _know._

' _You're not even going to bother to deny it?' Polly says and she sounds a little disappointed, almost as if she's spoiling for a fight._

' _Look' Alex says, placing her glass down on the bar top with a dull thud, 'I don't know what it is that you_ _think_ _you know, but don't involve yourself in matters that don't concern you. You're out of your depth.'_

' _Fuck you' Polly snaps. 'Don't make out that this is something more, that it's complicated and I won't understand, because you've got form, haven't you Alex'._

 _Alex's breath hitches in the back of her throat. She knows, the bitch knows. Her fist is clenched firmly at her side, blood hot, but she's determined not to lose her cool, refusing to give Polly any more ammunition than she already has._

' _You don't know what you're talking about', she says, as evenly as she can muster._

' _No?' Polly replies, a smug grin plastered across her prissy little face. 'So if I said the words Ava Lawrence, they wouldn't mean anything to you?' She stops momentarily, regarding Alex's face closely, looking for any discernible trace of recognition, but Alex remains silent. 'Because the way the muscle in your jaw is pulsing right now' she continues, chiding her, 'it would seem you know precisely what I'm talking about'._

' _What is it that you want exactly?!" Alex snaps._

 _Polly narrows her eyes and leans in a little closer, 'I just want you to stay away from Piper. You're trouble and god knows she doesn't need any more of that' she hisses, eyes narrowed. 'So if you keep away from her, your little secret is safe with me, but if you don't…well, I'm sure Piper would be very interested to learn the details of your last job and how you almost went to prison.'_

 _She's got her over a barrel and if there's one thing that Alex hates, it's being held to ransom, but she really has no choice. She doesn't want Piper to know, to think any less of her, or worse still, that what they have…..had, was the same as the Ava situation, because it isn't, not by a long chalk._

' _There's nothing going on now anyway, I put a stop to it a few days ago, so you don't have to worry your little botoxed face about it. OK?!'_

' _Botox?!' Polly replies, her hands immediately flying to her forehead impulsively._

' _Yea' Alex says grinning, pleased that the pot shot has had the desired effect. 'Cos you know, Piper and I, we do more than just fuck, she talks to me about stuff too'._

' _Just…' Polly begins, but they're interrupted by a message coming through on Alex's earpiece as she's advised about a man whose just approached Piper. Immediately all of Alex's senses become heightened as her eyes dart back across to the dance floor, her hand instinctively resting on the holster of her gun._

 _The man seems a similar age to Piper, a little drunk by the way he is swaying and he immediately tucks himself behind her, trying to match her movements and then gently placing a hand on her hip. Alex can feel herself bristle. He's not presenting any danger, he's just another slightly intoxicated Saturday night reveler, but she's desperately resisting the urge to march over there and drag Piper away._

' _I've got him in my sights. Over.' Alex replies to the voice in her earpiece._

' _She's just dancing' Polly says, interrupting her thoughts._

' _Just let me do my job' Alex snaps, her eyes still firmly fixed on the man. Piper appears to be squirming a little, as she realises the man is not going to be content with one simple dance and now his other hand pulls Piper towards him and she spins round, trying to free herself, but he's grinning as if it's some sort of game. The blood is pounding in Alex's head relentlessly now and she is a certain as she can be that she's going to wipe that smile off his face. To teach him a valuable lesson in etiquette._

 _She storms over, the increasing speed of the music heightening the tension that is rising within her and roughly pulls the man off Piper, tossing him into a empty booth nearby. 'The fuck?!' he says, squirming on his back like a turtle, his legs and arms momentarily flailing._

' _She's not interested. Back off' Alex replies, trying to reign in her anger, keep her thoughts lucid so her actions are less emotion driven. Piper is just another client. This is just another job she reminds herself._

' _Fucking bitch' the man spits, 'like fuck you're gonna tell me what to do'. He scrambles to his feet and immediately lunges for Alex, but the combination of her speed and his inebriated state means that he misses and instead, lands face first on the sticky dance floor. And now groups of people have begun pointing and laughing at him, so he gathers himself up hurriedly, shoots Alex a scowl and dashes off to the restroom._

' _Jesus Al' Piper says, running a hand through her hair and staring down at the spot the man had been just mere seconds ago, 'what the fuck was that?!'_

' _My job' Alex snaps, emotions bubbling up to the surface and bursting._

' _He wasn't doing anything'_

' _His hands were…they were…'_

' _He was just a regular dirt bag trying his luck, I've dealt with plenty like him before, there was no need for you to go off like that' she continues a little breathlessly._

' _Yea well…' Alex replies, not knowing how to finish the sentence, because deep down she knows that Piper is right, that she let her personal feelings get in the way and this is seeming all too familiar and suddenly she needs a cigarette and wants to be as far away from here as possible._

' _Al' Piper says, softer this time, placing a hand gently on Alex's arm and leaning into her, so there are mere inches between them, 'I miss you'._

 _The words cause a warmth to emanate from within Alex, a sensation that she has no idea how to fathom, let alone control. 'Let's go home' she whispers, her lips brushing lightly against Alex's neck._

' _Piper, I…we…..'_

 _And now Piper's holding her gaze in a way that makes Alex's thoughts tangled and her throat feel dry._

' _I want you' Piper continues, her words, urgent and firm. 'Now' and she's interlocking her fingers with Alex's, with no regard for who may be watching, assessing._

 _Alex glances up and sees Polly Harper glaring at her from a distance, sipping her wine and judging. But she knows. She knows about Ava Lawrence._

' _I can't' Alex replies, cold and hard, freeing her hand from Piper's. 'I'll call for the car to take you back' and she disappears back into the crowd, signaling for one of the other security men to take over and escapes into the cold night beyond._

 _She walks for what seems likes hours, feeling strangely intoxicated although a single drop of alcohol has not passed her lips all evening. She dodges a couple arguing in the street and a group of college students sharing a bottle of something, concealed in a brown paper bag. She glances down at her watch and realises that only forty minutes have passed. She sighs deeply, rubbing her temples, a wave of tiredness washing over and then notices her phone is vibrating in her pocket. She pulls it out and reads the display, it's Mike, one of the security guys currently working on the Chapman case._

' _Hey Vause' he says sounding relieved._

' _Hey Mike, anything wrong?' Alex asks, her mind suddenly racing with numerous different scenarios. Had something happened when she had left the club? Had she put Piper in danger? And suddenly she is cursing herself for being so impetuous, of not having a better control of her emotions._

' _Yea, well so far'_

' _So far?' Alex repeats, her heart thumping so hard she swears that Mike will be able to hear it._

' _Well no cause for any alarm as such, but the Chapman broad, she reckons she spotted someone lurking around the grounds earlier, we checked it out and couldn't find anything, but she's a little restless and paranoid now'_

' _You sure there was no one there?' Alex says, wishing that she hadn't been such an idiot._

' _Yea, me and Ethan checked it out and it was fine. We'll look again in the morning, see if we can find any sign of a trespasser, obviously torches only gave us a limited view of the surrounding area at this time of night. But it seemed clear.'_

' _Ok, so what do you need from me, I assume this isn't just a courtesy call?' she says, a little shorter than she intends it to sound._

' _Well, she's a little paranoid like I said, so she wants to someone to stay over with her. She asked for you'_

' _Stay over?'_

' _Yea, Bennett did it once, there's an adjoining room and…'_

' _Yea yea, I know about that'_

' _Ok, so you're good for it? Otherwise it will have to be me and my wife's pregnant right now so…'_

' _No it's fine, I'll be there in ten minutes or so' Alex replies, hurriedly ending the call and hailing a cab._

 _By the time she arrives at the house she's feeling marginally calmer, although the mere fact that Piper is in any immediate serious danger is causing her gut to churn in a way that she knows it really shouldn't, because this is a job and she needs her thoughts to remain lucid, logical._

 _Piper opens the front door and leads her wordlessly up to her bedroom. The adjoining room is separated by a set of double doors and Alex glances over at them. The times that she_ _has_ _stayed over have always been spent in Piper's bed, sneaking out before dawn so no one spots her. Since she started the job, she's never set foot in the adjoining room and now she feels sick with panic that there is a legitimate reason for her to do so._

' _Mike told me what happened' she says, as Piper removes her shoes and turns to face Alex. 'Who was it that you think you saw?' she asks, her green eyes wide with concern. To her surprise, Piper's face breaks out into a smile, blue eyes dancing in the dim light cast by the lamp on the nightstand._

 _Alex furrows her brow in confusion._

' _There was no one' Piper says, still grinning._

' _What?'_

' _I made it up, because I wanted to see you….I wanted you to spend the night, here with me'. Her voice is dripping with temptation and then Alex realises, in spite of her all training and experience, this girl has managed to outfox her._

' _Fuck's sake Piper, do you have_ _any_ _idea just how worried I was? Thinking that you were in immediate danger? Do you have any fucking clue?! This isn't some game!'_

 _She closes her eyes, sighing deeply and her anger begins to soften a little, because at least Piper is safe and that is the main thing. She opens her eyes, feeling a little weary, the events of the night having taken their toll_

' _I'm sorry' Piper says, gently taking Alex's hand, staring directly into her eyes, willing her to understand. 'But you and me…..don't you want to see where this goes?' There's a gentle undertone to her words, a soft pleading that Alex is finding hard to ignore._

' _Pipes….' Is all she feels able to formulate._

' _Fine' Piper replies dropping Alex's hand abruptly. 'Can you at least undo the zipper to this goddamn dress then, it's making me feel claustrophobic'._

 _Alex does as is requested and the silk dress grazes Piper's peachy flesh on it's descent, before it's left in a crumpled heap on the floor. Piper steps out of it and turns to face Alex. She unhooks her bra and tosses it on the floor and all the while, Alex's gaze has failed to leave her._

' _So come on close protection officer' she says, in little more than a whisper. 'Tell me what to do next'._

 _Alex never makes it to the other side of the double doors._


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello folks, this chapter feels like it's slightly overdue and for that I'm sorry, but I've been terribly distracted by a little something special.**

 **Anyhow, the italics represent a flash forward 12 months and the rest should be pretty self-explanatory.**

 **As ever, thank you for your comments and more are welcome.**

 **Enjoy.**

 _ **Devil's hour- conversations and confusions**_

 _They were midnight's children, something gave them life, allowed them to form and grow: together._

 _There's a ramshackle beach hut bar where she likes to sit, when she thinks Piper's asleep. The Arak is good and the breeze is light and everything just becomes a little more bearable. So she sips and thinks and sips some more and the searing burn eventually gives way to something else: a theory: a blurred mess of a concept an unfathomable idea._

 _The barman asks if she wants a refill. She pays for the whole bottle. And she's snatching it up with clammy hands, stumbling towards somewhere, but not just anywhere. And the raw moonlight trails her; a lucid companion, until she's breathless and aching and wondering how she got here. This was never the plan._

 _She fell in love._

 _And she's stood on the damp decking of Piper's beach house, her heart thumping almost painfully, fingers gripping the neck of the bottle tightly and she's wondering if she can do this, if the words will allow themselves to be freed by her lips._

' _Vause?' Mike calls out and before she knows it, he's stood in front of her in shirt sleeves, the hair around his temples slightly matted by sweat, a look of concern deeply entrenched on his face. 'You ok?' he continues._

 _She nods, feeling herself sway a little, shuffling in her spot, re-arranging her feet so that they afford her more balance, but the ground no longer seems stationary and she's beginning to realise just what a bad idea this was._

' _Really? Because you sure as hell don't look it'. His eyes flick to the bottle in her hand and then quickly back to her and then the concern suddenly morphs into something else. Although Alex cannot quite place what it is._

' _You're not on duty tonight, remember?'_

 _Alex nods._

' _So why don't you head back to your room and we'll see you bright and early tomorrow' he says, trying to lighten the mood, but her legs feel leaden as if she's rooted to the wood._

' _Vause? You hear me?' he continues, locking his eyes with hers._

' _Yea sure' she mumbles 'just that…..errr….Piper….Ms. Chapman, she asked to see me'_

 _Mike narrows his eyes in suspicion. 'She did?'_

 _Alex nods, clamping her fingers even more firmly around the bottle as it threatens to slip from her grasp. A warm breeze settles around them, gently ruffling Alex's hair, it feels nice, soothing even and she knows if she doesn't tell Piper how she feels tonight, she's not sure she's going to be able to muster the courage again._

 _Mike turns to face the beach house, 'Well the porch lights are on' he looks down at his watch, 'but it's pretty late, she might be asleep. When did she call you?'_

 _Alex's brain is freewheeling, struggling to find traction, 'umm, like ten minutes ago'_

' _Oh, ok…..well Ethan's out back and I'm here for another hour or so if there's any problem'_

' _Thanks' she says, trying to sound intentionally firmer, less inebriated._

 _Mike smiles and nods 'did she say there_ _was_ _a problem?'_

 _Just when she thought she was in the clear._

' _No, not as such, maybe she just wanted some reassurance? Some company?'_

' _I guess….I mean, women are better at that on the whole, so I don't suppose she wanted to ask Ethan or I…'_

 _Alex allows herself a momentary sigh of relief, as it's evident that Mike has bought the story._

' _Well like I say, we'll be around if you need anything' he says turning away._

' _Great thanks' Alex replies, straightening up a little and making the short walk to Piper's front door as gracefully as she is capable of and wraps lightly, before taking another sip of fiery booze; a final hit of Dutch courage. 'Piper, it's me' she says, not wanting to alarm her._

 _It's a minute or so before Piper answers the door, in shorts and a baby pink t-shirt. Her hair is adorably messy and she's rubbing sleep from her eyes. 'Al…what are you doing here?' she says, a little disorientated._

 _The sight of her immediately makes Alex's stomach somersault in a way that throws her off guard. She curls her hand into a fist at her side and pushes her fingernails deep into her palm, trying to replace the feeling with one of pain instead. But it doesn't work, because the intensity of it is radiating through her; blooming fiercely._

' _I'm sorry, did I wake you?' she says softly._

' _S'ok, I was just sort of drifting in and out of sleep on the couch' she rubs her neck with a hand. 'Which probably wasn't a great idea, because I'm already feeling a little stiff. But I'm glad you're here' she says smiling._

' _Maybe this will help loosen your muscles a little' Alex says, raising the bottle in her hand._

' _Well, I guess you had better come in then' Piper says laughing._

 _Alex trails behind her into the apartment, closing the door firmly, her legs threatening to buckle beneath her. She drops clumsily onto the couch, splashing some of the booze in the process._

' _Careful' Piper shouts across from the kitchen area, 'I won't get my deposit back at this rate'. She grins broadly, grabs two tumblers from a cupboard above the sink and strolls over to join Alex on the couch. She places the glasses on the bamboo coffee table and watches Alex clumsily pours them two measures, her hand shaking ever so slightly. Piper reaches out, curling long slender fingers gently around Alex's wrist. 'Steady' she says, staring directly into Alex's eyes, greeny blue hues dancing in the dim light._

 _Alex parts her lips to say something, but thinks better of it. Piper removes her grip, taking the bottle instead and scrutinises it carefully. 'What exactly is this?' she says, brow furrowed unable to tear her eyes away from the colourless liquid._

' _Arak'_

' _It doesn't even have a label on it, that can't be good' she continues, slight concern trailing her words._

' _Sure it does, but I peeled the skull and cross bones sticker off on my walk over here' Alex smirks._

' _Real funny' Piper replies, placing the bottle on the floor._

' _It's good' she says, snatching up a glass, 'try it'_

' _Hmmmm, well it must be strong, judging by the state of you'_

' _I'm fine' Alex replies, no longer sure if it's the alcohol swimming in her stomach, or her feelings for Piper that are blurring the edges of sobriety so powerfully._

' _Well then, cheers I guess' Piper replies, taking the other tumbler, the gentle clink of glasses reverberating around the room. She takes a sip gingerly and then scrunches up her face in disgust. 'Jesus Al, I'm not sure if you_ _were_ _kidding about the skull and cross bones after all, this tastes like fucking paint stripper'._

 _Alex laughs, 'Well maybe it's an acquired taste then'_

' _Like you?'_

' _Maybe, but once it_ _is_ _acquired, it becomes kinda addictive'. Her gaze meets Piper's and for a moment, her mind is telling her that this is the right time to unburden herself, tell her how she really feels, but the intensity of it is threatening to sink her and she's beginning to feel a little dizzy. So she takes a deep breath and shots the drink instead._

' _Fuck! How can you even do that' Piper exclaims, caught some place between awe and disgust._

' _Easy' she grins, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand 'practice'._

 _Piper leans back on the couch slightly, regarding Alex closely. 'So…'_

' _So?'_

' _It's your night off'_

' _Well aren't you full of fun amazing facts' Alex laughs._

' _And aren't you desperate to see me'_

' _Maybe I was just passing through'_

' _Were you?'_

' _No'_

' _So you_ _were_ _missing me?'_

' _Well I never said that' Alex replies, raising an eyebrow._

' _Maybe you didn't have to'._

 _And they sit like that for a minute or so as the intensity burgeons around them, neither moving a muscle, determined not to be the first to cave, until Piper eventually hauls herself up and grabs a beer from the fridge. She flicks the top off with a bottle opener, but the beer bubbles over the neck of the bottle, making it slippery and it slides through her fingers, smashing on the tiled floor. The sound slices through the charged silence that had blanketed them. 'Fuck!' she hisses, 'it's all over my goddamn t-shirt aswell'_

 _Alex walks over to help, the shattering of the bottle snapping her into a lazy sort of sobriety._

' _Eurgh, I smell like a brewery' Piper says removing her t-shirt and revealing a white strapless bikini top. Alex's eyes hover across the shiny, pale tan lines across her shoulders. Delicious little trails of untainted skin._

' _I only switched to a strapless bikini on day four of the vacation' Piper says, almost as if she can read Alex's mind._

' _I wasn't, I mean…..'_

' _I know exactly what you were thinking' Piper replies, her voice velvety and she turns and walks back through to the living area and pauses at the bottom of the spiral staircase that runs through the centre of it. She turns to face Alex and with her index finger she beckons her over._

 _Alex doesn't hesitate in following, her breath quickening with each step, but as Piper tugs at her hand to begin the ascent up the stairs, she pauses, because she hasn't told her yet and she's not sure how much longer she can contain it._

' _Piper, we need to talk….' she says, the warmth of Pipers hand in hers buoying her a little._

 _Piper raises an eyebrow, '_ _this_ _is the time you've chosen to talk?' She laughs lightly and Alex can feel her desire to confess her feelings waning by the second._

' _I just…I…..'_

 _Piper throws her arms around Alex's neck pulling her close. 'I tell you what Vause' she whispers, 'after I'm done with you, if you have enough energy to speak, then we can talk, ok?'_

 _Before Alex has a chance to reply, Piper is kissing her full and hard and hungry and the words she so wanted to say, catch a wave in her mind, drifting away into her subconscious, marooned, for another day._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _Excerpt 3_

 _7\. When questioned on who instigated the relationship, Ms. Lawrence contends that Ms. Vause initiated physical contact on 23_ _rd_ _February 2012._

 _Ms. Lawrence states she was at a charity regatta gala and slightly inebriated. Ms. Vause and a Mr John Bennett (also an employee of Black Diamond Security) had accompanied her at the event for protection purposes._

 _When Ms. Lawrence began to feel unwell, Ms. Vause attended the restroom with her, assuring Ms. Lawrence that she wanted to make sure that 'she was ok and wasn't going to pass out'. Ms. Lawrence proceeded to make her way into a bathroom stall, however, despite feeling nauseous, she was not sick and therefore made her way back into the main restroom area. It is here that she says Ms. Vause told her of her feelings for her, which Ms. Lawrence states, Ms. Vause had claimed had been festering some time since 'last Thanksgiving' and over which she 'no longer had any fucking control'._

 _Ms. Lawrence admits to being confused about how 's admission made her feel, but confirms that when Ms. Vause leant in to kiss her, she did reciprocate and a tacit affair commenced from then onwards._

 _Ms. Lawrence categorically denies any part in the attempted manslaughter of Mr. Lovegood._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Piper tears the lilac envelope and pulls out the birthday card. It has a picture of a grey bear on it, holding a large heart, adorned with the words 'special daughter'. She opens it, knowing full well what's going to be written inside, because it's the same as every year: 'Dear Piper, best wishes on your birthday, Mom and Dad'. The blue scrawl is slanted strangely across the page, almost as if the letters are bowing: her mother's unmistakable handwriting. She doesn't think her father has ever signed a card himself and this year, it was even more unlikely to happen, given that no one knows where he is; Piper, Danny, Cal, her mother…the FBI.

Her phone rings and she flicks her eyes to the display. It's Polly. She sighs, not really in the mood to talk, but answers it all the same.

'Hey birthday girl!' Her friend says over enthusiastically.

'Hey' Piper replies, failing to match her friend's chipper tone even slightly.

'So, how's the day been so far?'

'Ugh…it's only just gone 10am Pol, I've barely had time for coffee let alone anything else'

'Well someone's clearly a little grumpy aren't they?'

'I'm sorry, I don't mean to be, it's just that this year with Daddy and everything, I'm really not in the mood to celebrate, it kinda feels like it's being forced on me'

'But what about our dinner tonight?' Polly says, half knowing the answer she is going to be greeted with.

'Would you mind if I cancelled? I just want some time to wallow….maybe some wine…..maybe a mushy black and white film with an overly dramatic kiss that really isn't a kiss'. She's met with a stony silence and she knows her friend is going to be stewing a little because she's had this planned for weeks, a little project and Piper knows just how much Polly likes those.

'Please Pol' she continues, 'I just really need this right now'

'Fine fine' she replies eventually, 'but we're going out next week and I'm _not_ taking no for an answer, got it?'

'Got it' Piper replies smiling.

'Good, well _try_ and enjoy your day at least and I'll call you later' her friend says hanging up.

Piper stares back over at the discarded birthday card from her parents. Never has a gesture felt so empty she thinks and before she knows it, she's ripping it clean in two.

'You know, people tend to put greeting cards on the mantelpiece'. A familiar voice quips. It's Alex.

'Yea well, maybe it's not worth putting on display' she replies sullenly.

'Birthday?' Alex says, taking a seat next to her at the breakfast bar.

Piper nods.

'And I take it you're not too happy about it?'

'Not really, no'

'Because you're worried about the aging process catching up with you too fast?' she grins.

'No, but thanks for pointing that out' Piper replies, all of a sudden very conscious of the fact that she's not wearing any make up.

'Relax, I'm just kidding' Alex says smiling, 'you look great'. She leans in a little closer 'better than great even', but before Piper has a chance to reply, Alex has pulled away abruptly, as if something has just dawned on her. 'Anyway, I just came to ask if you knew when Raoul was due on shift, none of the guys seem to know'. She stands up straightening herself out.

'Oh…ummm…let's see, it's Wednesday, so not until midday'.

'Ok thanks. Enjoy your birthday' she says before disappearing out of the kitchen and leaving Piper behind, a little baffled.

She spends the rest of the day trying to busy herself, pushing the fact that it's her birthday to the very corners of her mind. She ignores calls from her mother, Danny and Cal, not in the mood to make small talk or play nice. She re-arranges her walk in closet, orders sushi and makes a start on Ulysses. But her mind can't settle and so she flicks the TV on in the sitting room and idly channel surfs until she lands on a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Evening shadows begin to creep across the room, but Piper cannot stir the energy to get up and pull the drapes across the large bay window and if she's honest, she quite likes the feeling of being hidden in the inkiness, blending into nothingness.

'I think this must be one of the most sad birthdays I ever saw'.

Piper looks up and spots Alex leaning against the doorframe. She scrambles up from the couch, suddenly very conscious she still has no make up on and is in a pair of old sweats and a t-shirt.

'I must have just nodded off' she says, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and flicking the light switch on. The raw glare causes her to blink several times before her eyes have fully re-adjusted to the surroundings.

'No big party?' Alex asks.

'Nope'

'No dinner? No drinks?'

'Nope'

'Not even any cake?'

Piper shakes her head.

'I see….you _really_ don't like birthday's after all, huh?'

'There's just no point and I don't especially want to get into it right now' Piper replies making her way into the kitchen. Alex trails after her, watching Piper uncork a bottle of red and overfill a large glass. 'You want one?' she asks flatly.

'I'm on duty, we're not supposed to drink'

'Oh yea'

'Need to make sure I'm mentally on top of my game to so that I can take care of you'

For some reason, Piper quite enjoys the way Alex has described her role, as if Piper is some precious cargo that she has been assigned to protect, rather than _just_ another job, another contract.

Piper's eyes flick to the holster on Alex's belt. 'You must be pretty handy with that thing huh?' she says pointing to the gun. Alex immediately places a hand protectively over it.

'I'm a trained killer', she says bluntly 'so I should hope so'.

Piper takes a deep sip of her drink, mulling things over. 'You ever killed anyone?'

'Not anyone that didn't deserve it' she fires back, quicker than Piper was anticipating.

'And it doesn't….'

'What?'

'It doesn't scare you?'

Alex laughs, 'danger is a double edged sword, it can exhilarate you, make you feel alive, but it can also call to fore your weakness….'

'Weakness?'

'Fear'

'So what _are_ you afraid of Alex' she asks, her blue eyes locked firmly on Alex's face.

'That I don't have any fear'

'Oh' Piper says, a little taken back by the statement.

'Anyway, I'm gonna be knocking off shortly and Ray will be here, but enjoy what's left of your birthday, she says with a smile, before disappearing out of the door.

Piper takes a deep sip of her drink and considers just what it would be like to be _really_ closely protected by Alex Vause. _Really really_ closely protected and before she can stop herself, she finds her lips being pulled into a gentle smile, the thought eliciting a soft wave of _something_ from deep within in. She shakes her head, as if attempting to snap herself back into reality and places her glass on the kitchen counter.

She should shower, she decides, it might help to shake whatever the hell these thoughts are making her feel.

She pads her way upstairs, undresses and showers, standing under the hottest jet of water her body can take and decides to celebrate the passing of another year by ordering in Chinese food. She pulls on a bathrobe and makes her way back down to the kitchen to find a menu. As she enters, she's caught off guard momentarily, because there, on the countertop, is a decadently frosted chocolate cup cake, a solitary candle piercing the middle, flickering gently. She walks over, a goofy smile plastered on her face and picks up the piece of paper that has been folded next to it. She opens it out and the message is simple enough, but it makes her heart flip in a way that she cannot fathom:

'Everybody deserves cake on their birthday. Enjoy, Alex.'

Piper closes her eyes, makes a wish and blows out the candle.

Maybe, just maybe, it will come true.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello folks, here's another update for you. The Devil's hour stuff is set 12 months into the future. The rest is in the present.**

 **Please let me know what you think, the good, the bad…the spectacular.**

 **Enjoy.**

'I spend most of my free evenings lying on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. There's a crack that runs from the top of the window, parallel to it and then the tip of it abruptly forks out in either direction, like it couldn't make it's mind up which way to go next, so it almost just…..gave up'. She keeps her eyes fixed on the shrink, who is now hurriedly scribbling things down onto a notepad, gently nodding her head as she does so, as if Alex is _now_ making sense to her, like she's another puzzle that her Harvard educated mind can go ahead and crack.

Alex takes a sip of the coffee she was greeted with when she arrived. It's been made by one of those fancy capsule machines that's sat in the reception area: heavy on design, light on taste. But she's drinking it politely all the same.

The shrink places her pen down, adjusts herself in her seat slightly and clears her throat, as if she's about to say something measured…profound even, so Alex finds herself disappointed when all she can deliver is some psychology 101 bullshit.

'You ever feel like that Alex? Like you're lacking direction, not sure which way you want to go?'

'Are you suggesting the crack in the ceiling is a metaphor for my life?' Alex replies, struggling to bite back a smirk. She remembers her high school principal lecturing her on how smirking could be construed as arrogance and Alex never quite understood what the problem with that was. She still doesn't, if she's being brutally honest.

'Well what would you say your description of it signifies then?' the shrink replies, leaning back in her seat a little. She picks up her pen and begins tapping her chin with it as she regards Alex closely.

'That I'm living in an old building and that the plaster is shot to shit'. A small laugh escapes Alex's lips, she can't help it, but the absurdity of the questioning is getting to her and she's beginning to remember precisely why she skipped the last three sessions.

'Ok, let's try something different then, about the future. Where do you see yourself in…say…..ten years time?'

Alex takes another sip of coffee, gulping it down and the sound jars in the otherwise silent room. 'I dunno' she finally replies. She doesn't shrug, she stops herself just in time, but her response is indifferent enough that even the shrink elicits a slight sigh.

'So you've never thought about the future? You never make plans?'

'Well, I might think about what I want in my sub at lunch, but that's about as far as it goes…meatballs' she says, leaning forward in her chair slightly, 'just in case you wanna write that down'. She points to the shrink's notepad.

The woman drops her pen onto the desk and nods her head slowly a few times. 'Ok, so t _his_ is your defence mechanism, I get that'. She stops, scribbles something else down and continues. 'But why do you feel the need to use humour in that way?'

'Maybe I'm just funny?'

'Is that was this is. You think _this_ is funny?'

'Well, you haven't heard my knock knock jokes yet'

And Alex cannot help but notice the shrink's lips curve into a slight smile, betraying the veneer of professionalism she was trying so hard to maintain. 'See I _am_ funny…I guess I win'.

The woman's eyes flick up from her notepad to Alex and she swears that for a second they are softening, as if she's allowing the human side of her to reveal itself, but then just as quickly as it arrived it's gone and she straightens herself in her chair again, planting both hands flat and firm onto the desk and piercing Alex with her gaze.

'When was the last time you lost you temper?'

'When was the last time _you_ lost _your_ temper?'

'Me?' she says a little bemused, 'this isn't about me…'

'Well no, it isn't, but I'm asking anyway, so it would be impolite not to answer and I'm sure if there's one thing you aren't, it's impolite'.

She sighs, deeply this time, 'Ok, although I'm sure your employer wouldn't be too thrilled if they knew they were paying for _me_ to answer questions in a session they have paid for _you_ to have and I honestly don't remember….I don't generally lose my temper, I practice Chakra meditation, so it helps keep me calm and balanced'

'Yea? Beer does the same for me….well maybe not so much balanced, if I'm chasing it with Tequila'.

'How often do you drink?'

'Probably more often than I should, but less than I would like'

'Are you taking any medication?'

'No'

'No?'

'No'

The shrink walks over to the grey filing cabinet next to the door, yanks open the bottom drawer and flicks through the files until she pulls out the blue folder she was looking for. She wanders back over to the desk and thumbs through the wodge of papers inside until her finger lands on the page she was looking for. The whole time, Alex's eyes haven't left the window behind the desk. This room is beginning to make her feel claustrophobic.

'Let's see now…so you say you're not on medication, however the forms you completed when you first began your sessions with me, say that your doctor prescribed you with anti-depressants for Post-traumatic stress disorder. Is that not correct?' she says, glancing up at Alex. She sounds pleased with herself and this only irritates Alex further.

'Yes. But that wasn't the question you asked me. You asked if I was _taking_ any medication and I'm not'.

'So you're ignoring your doctor's advice'

'Or just taking my own'

'You're not a medical healthcare professional'

'I never said I was, unless you have that written down in your little file somewhere too', but this time her tone lacks the jokey edge, because she's getting uncomfortable and she's tired, tired from being kept awake last night, by the sounds of Nicky fucking some random girl, in the room next door, tired from having to justify herself to this stranger, but most of all, she's just tired of being Alex Vause.

So seconds later, when the shrink says the session is over, she's out the door so fast, she barely catches her say 'see you next week'. But it doesn't matter anyway, because she's as sure as she can be, she won't be coming back.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _ **Devil's hour-conversations and confusions**_

 _Piper groans, deep from within the confines of her bed, as the relentless buzzing of her cell phone will not let up. She knows it's late, of that she is she is sure, because her bedroom is still blanketed in darkness, save for a sliver of moonlight which penetrates the crack in the drapes and glints off the dresser mirror, casting eerie, shadowy fingers, which slice across the far wall._

 _She rolls over and snatches the phone up from the nightstand, not even bothering to check the display. 'Hullo' she mumbles, her head still half buried in a pillow._

' _Piper honey, it's me'_

 _And suddenly she's sitting bolt upright, because she can't fail to recognise that voice. It's her father._

' _Daddy?' she says, her brain still struggling to process the information, 'Where are you?' and then she realises what a stupid question that is, because he must know that all the house phones have been bugged by the FBI._

' _Some place safe, that's all you need to know'_

 _She glances down at the phone display, it's a cell number, but one she doesn't recognise, no doubt he will discard of it shortly._

' _Daddy, you need to come back you need to….'_

'… _.you know why I can't honey and you're being kept safe aren't you?'_

 _Piper doesn't quite know how to put into words, that being kept safe is ruining her life. That she cannot remember the last time she felt normal, when there wasn't at least one other pair of eyes fixed on her from a distance, so she doesn't say anything at all, just stays quiet, listening to the buzz of traffic from the other end of the line._

' _Piper sweetie? Are you still there?' Bill says, first to break quiet._

' _Yes, I'm still here daddy' she replies, the tiredness in her voice betraying her resignation to the whole situation._

' _Listen to me very carefully, i've received a warning and…well you're gonna need to be extra vigilant. All of you, but they named_ _you_ _in particular'._

' _They? What do you mean they? And why me?' And suddenly all her senses are ramped up, keen, ready to do battle. Her mind is whirring uncontrollably: a spinning top, unable to plot a straight line._

' _I can't get into that now Piper, I have to go'. She can hear muffled voices from close by to him and an accent she cannot decipher and before she can ask anything further, the line has gone dead. The harsh blare of reality: the final insult._

 _She sits for a few seconds, the phone hanging limply in her hand, allowing it all to sink in, before she knows exactly what she needs to do. She needs to tell Alex._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _ **Devil's hour-conversations and confusions**_

 _They were midnight's children, something gave them life, allowed them to form and grow: together._

 _Late evening has now bled into early morning and a polite buzz fills the air inside the marquee; small talk, the light clinking of glasses and the occasional scream of a violin being re-tuned, as the band are getting ready for their final set of the night._

 _Alex is leaning against a table near the entrance, piled high with prettily ribboned packages, in varying shapes and sizes, forming a haphazard tower of sorts, in imminent danger of collapse._

 _The earpiece she's been wearing has been fizzing and crackling all day, she should get it swapped, but if she's being honest, she's barely listening to it, because since they arrived, her eyes have hardly left Piper._

 _The blonde is presently standing across from her, with Polly and Pete. She's laughing at something, but it's not genuine, because it doesn't reach her eyes and every so often, she looks up and catches Alex's gaze and then her face is transformed, the lines softened and there's a slight shimmer to her eyes. It wouldn't be noticeable to most people, but then Alex isn't_ _most people._

' _Vause' she hears and she can feel a hand land lightly on her arm. She looks up. It's Mike._

' _You're due on break now' he says, regarding her a little oddly. 'You ok? You look a little…..off colour….'_

' _Gee Mike, are all your lines this smooth?' Alex replies laughing._

' _Ha, sorry Vause, I just meant…well…'_

' _It's fine, I know what you meant and I'm ok…I don't need a break'_

 _Mike straightens up slightly, taking advantage of the full five inches in height he has over Alex and puffs his chest out a little. 'Don't argue with me about this Vause, we're supposed to take our scheduled break, you know that'_

 _She's about to concede, disappear into the cool night air for a smoke and maybe some food, because the growling in her stomach is reminding her that she hasn't eaten since the tuna melt at lunch, but as her eyes flick back to Piper, she notices her talking to a guy, someone she hasn't spotted before. Some double barreled jackass probably. He's tall enough, broad enough, good looking enough to make more than an eligible suitor for her and_ _that's_ _precisely the problem. And almost involuntarily, her jaw is clenching tightly, her hands balled into fists at her side and there could be a million and one people swarming around them like ants, but her eyes are not going to leave Piper. Not now._

' _Fine, I'll take a break in ten' she tells Mike bluntly, not even bothering to grace him with the courtesy of a glance and her colleague knows her well enough to simply nod and walk away._

' _Piper!' her mind hisses at her and now the man is leaning in a little as he whispers something to Piper and she smirks, takes another sip of Champagne and glances back over at Alex, because she knows precisely what she's doing and exactly what effect this is having. And there's a pounding behind Alex's eyes, like a tidal wave crashing against the inside of her skull and the crackling in her ear is sending her over the edge, until she can bear it no longer, so she rips out the earpiece and stuffs it into her pocket._

 _And then her breath is hitching in the back of her throat, her palms sweaty as she spots them breaking away from Polly and Pete, the man gently guiding Piper through the various coteries of people, his hand gently resting on the small of her back and there's a riptide of emotion that slices straight through Alex, knocks her off balance slightly as the sickening thought of what might be about to happen next, dawns on her. But then Piper's shrugging him off, turning around and pointing to the makeshift bathrooms and his shoulders are drooping a little, but he nods and she's making her way towards Alex; an invisible thread straight back to her._

 _And within seconds, she's stood right there, blue eyes wide and glassy, her lips slightly parted, graced with a light pink gleam._

' _Can you quit gawping at me, you're killing the mood of this party' she says. She's clearly aiming for firm, abrupt even, but she can't quite manage it and so Alex simply grins in response._

' _Did I say something funny?' she continues, clearly getting riled, 'because it wasn't meant to be, I came to tell you to back off'_

' _Oh yea?'_

' _Yea'_

' _What, so you and you're little boyfriend can go off and enjoy yourself?'_

' _Real mature Al, real mature'_

' _And flirting with some random dude to make me jealous is very adult'_

' _God you fucking love yourself, that's not what I'm doing'_

' _No?'_

' _No!' She pauses, trying to catch her breath. 'Look, I don't want to do this here' she says firmly. She grabs Alex's hand and pulls her away from the light hum of the birthday party and back through the exit of the marquee, throwing a quick glance towards Polly, to ensure she hasn't seen her. They half walk, half run, neither of them sure from what, just that there appears to be an urgency that's caught them both off guard. They stop, under a large, red maple tree set further back into the gardens. The ground beneath them is sodden from the rain earlier in the day and the heels of Piper's shoes keep sinking into the turf._

' _Fucking things' she says, eventually conceding defeat and ripping them off her feet._

' _I'm not gonna carry you back in there when you complain your feet are all muddy, so you may aswell put them back on' Alex says matter of factly._

' _I'm sure I'll be fine, I'm not some pathetic damsel in distress'_

' _Oh…I know_ _that_ _'_

' _How about you quit being a jackass for a few seconds and just admit what this is really about?'_

 _Alex furrows her brow slightly, but before she has a chance to respond, a few of Polly's guests stroll by, laughing and joking, drinks in hand, so the pair shrink further back, hidden by the inky veil of night and remain unseen, until the group have disappeared back into the throes of the party._

 _They stand for a few minutes, face to face, regarding each closely, neither of them wanting to break the silence, too scared of what that could mean._

' _You_ _are_ _jealous, aren't you?' Piper says, the words tumbling clumsily out of her mouth and immediately she knows she's hit a nerve because Alex looks away, as if she's worried that even glancing at Piper will turn her into stone._

' _Al?'_

' _Fuck you Piper, fuck you and your childish little games'._

' _This isn't a game Alex, but_ _you_ _ended this,_ _you_ _said we couldn't be together, so why are you punishing me?'_

 _Alex presses her back against the gnarly bark of the tree trunk, it's cold and damp and it's seeping through her jacket and shirt, but she really is past the point of caring._

' _You think this is what I'm doing? That I'm trying to punish you?'_

' _Well it….feels like it' Piper replies, realising how pathetic and childlike her voice sounds._

' _I_ _need_ _to protect you Piper, I_ _have_ _to protect you and if we're together, then I can't do that properly, I know I can't'_

' _So quit your job' Piper says, more animated now, 'I can get someone else and then it won't matter'_

 _Alex shakes her head, 'I don't trust anyone else to be able to take care of you like I can, not one bit'_

' _Why not?'_

 _Alex doesn't reply, she just listens to the rustling of the falls leaves being disturbed by a gentle breeze, the catchy rhythm of the music, filtering out of the tent._

' _Alex' Piper says, taking her hand and loosely tangling their fingers together. 'I asked, why not, why don't you trust anyone else to take care of me?'_

' _Because'_

' _Because what?'_

 _Alex turns to face her 'Because they're not in love with you like I am'._

 _And before Piper has a chance to reply, the guests are all pouring out of the tent as Pete is yelling 'birthday fireworks!' and suddenly the canvas of the night sky is smattered with an explosion of colour: blues and pinks and reds, soaring and bursting into life with a screech and a bang, Sulfur kissing the air around them._

 _Screech_

 _ **BANG!**_

 _Screech_

 _ **BANG!**_

 _And Alex's eyes follow the trail they blaze, deep into the night and it feels nice for her mind to be diverted in this way. So she loses herself in it for a few seconds, closes her eyes and takes a deep, replenishing breath._

 _Screech_

 _ **BANG!**_

 _SCREECHBANGSCREECHBANG_

 _ **BANG! BANG! BANG!**_

 _But then the edges of her respite begin to crack, because there's a scream, a raw, wet scream, piercing through the night and it's a few seconds before she realises where it has come from, as Piper's body is crumpled next to her, on a bed of fall leaves. 'Al' she breathes, the light slowly dimming from her eyes. 'Al'._

 _And then the smell of Sulfur is quickly replaced by something else…gunpowder. It elicits a strange memory in her mind from training, being told that the smell of gunfire isn't cordite, like most people think._

 _And when she looks down at herself, it's only then that she realises: She's covered in Piper Chapman's blood._


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Can you write when you're in a perpetual state of fuggy sleeplessness? Apparently so.**

 **Here's another chapter. It's mild 'M' or as a friend of mine would describe it, some 'adult touching'.**

 **Enjoy.**

The sky is a swirling, soot colored mass: impenetrable in its density.

Snow is coming, of that Alex is certain. She takes another drag of her cigarette and leans back in her chair slightly, surveying the ice-rink across the small square. Every few seconds, the stillness is shattered by the excitable squeals of child. She watches as a young girl with pink, fluffy ear muffs, collides with a slightly larger boy. She lands with a heavy thud and for a second, the shock renders her silent. But then, almost as if her brain has only just caught up with her body, she bursts into thick, shuddering sobs, until she's scooped up by her flustered looking mother and carried away to safety.

Alex flicks the ash from what's left of her cigarette, takes a final drag and sends the stub sailing into the distance.

'You know that counts as littering right?'

She turns slightly, to put a face to the voice, although deep down, she already knows who it is, because she felt her, before she had even spoken.

Piper.

'Litterbug. That's gonna be your new nickname' she continues, smiling. She pulls out the chair opposite. The legs screech across the paving slabs, the sound slicing through the air. She dumps half a dozen or so shopping bags down and sighs deeply.

Alex glances up and spots Mike standing in the doorway of the café. He offers her a chaste nod of acknowledgement, she responds with much the same.

'So this is how you spend you days off?' Piper continues. 'Smoking broodily'

'And littering, you forgot the littering' Alex adds grinning.

'Yes…and setting a bad example to the kids across the way, on both counts'

'Well I never said I was a role model'

Piper pauses for a second, 'you want another?' she says pointing to Alex's half finished coffee.

Alex shakes her head. 'I better make a move'

'To where?'

'Well, if I was being impolite, I would say that was none of your business…'

'But you aren't gonna be, so spill….'

'I've really gotta go' she says, dropping some money onto the table for her drink. The coins land awkwardly, with a rattling clank.

'Have you…..got a date?' Piper asks, her heart suddenly hammering at the thought, although she has no idea why.

'A date?'

'Yea, you know? Like dinner a movie, that sort of thing….you know what a date is, right?'

Alex laughs, 'yea, I know _what_ a date is, I just don't _do_ them'

'What? So you've never been on a date in your whole life?!' Her eyes are wide now, incredulous at the new information.

Alex shrugs, 'I've never had cause to go one'

'You've never had cause to be romantic?'

'Look Piper, I really _have_ got to go, so…..'

'Yea I know, except you won't tell me what the big mystery is and we know it's not a date'

'There is no big mystery, I'm just going to see my mom if you really must know. Satisfied?'

Piper can sense the underlying frustration to her tone, at having to reveal personal information, so she doesn't press it any further. 'Sorry' she says instead, 'I wasn't meaning to pry'.

Now it's Alex's turn to sigh. 'Look, it's fine really, I just don't like talking about…'

'….yourself…'

Alex's eyes lock with Piper's and they remain like that, a game of wills, silently challenging the other to look away and concede defeat first.

'You know, I was champion of this at high school right?' Alex says, green hues fixed firmly with Piper's gaze

'Champion of what? Being stubborn?'

'Stare outs. 100% record'

'Oh yea?'

'Yea'

'Well, prepare to be taken down for the first time in your life then Vause'

'You wish' she grins.

'So, never been on a date huh?'

'Nope'

'Never been in love?'

'So you're playing dirty now?'

Piper laughs, but her eyes fail to leave Alex's all the same. 'I wouldn't say that, I'm just getting to know my close protection officer a little better'

'I'm off duty Piper'

'Is that why you're calling me Piper and not Ms. Chapman?'

'Well I _was_ calling you Piper because it's your name, but if you'd rather I didn't..'

'No!' Piper replies, a little sharper than she intended. 'I like the way you say my name'

Alex raises an eyebrow, 'really?'

Piper nods.

'Why?'

'I dunno, it sounds like it has meaning when you say it'

Alex opens her mouth as if to reply, but no words will form.

'Nice goldfish impression Vause'

'Asshole' she replies grinning.

'See, now maybe this is why you don't get any dates, because you're impolite, women like to be wooed ya know'

'Oh yea?'

'Yea'

'So' Alex says, dropping her voice slightly and leaning across the table a little, 'if someone wanted to woo you, how would they go about that?'

' _Not_ challenging me to a stare out competition would be a good start'

Alex laughs, 'So you don't like challenges? You don't like pushing the boundaries?' she licks her lips and Piper is beginning to squirm, because the intense scrutiny of Alex's gaze is causing a strange warmth to pulse within her and she has no way of controlling it.

'Piper' Alex says, in almost a whisper and it's so sultry, a rasp so delicious, that it's all Piper can do to remember where they are; sat in a busy square, the week before Christmas.

'Piper' she repeats, more tenderly this time.

'Yes?' she finally replies, a slight undertone of hesitation to her response, as if she's uncertain of what is coming next.

'It's snowing'

Immediately Piper's eyes flick towards the heavens and sure enough, she can see delicate snowflakes, making their descent; icy butterflies.

'Hah! I won!' Alex yells, but Piper's lost interest in the game already. She stands up, her head titled back slightly, looking deep into the eyes of the dankness above. And she remains like that, almost motionless, holding out her hand, allowing the snowflakes to land gently on her palm, succumbing to their watery grave.

'You know' Alex says softly, 'sometimes, you should just let beautiful things be'.

Piper drops her gaze, back down to the table to protest. But she finds nothing more than an empty chair and the shadowy figure of Alex Vause, disappearing into the distance.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _ **Devil's hour- conversations and confusions**_

 _They were midnight's children, something gave them life, allowed them to form and grow: together._

 _It was only meant to be one drink, just one, to take the edge off the morning and maybe the night before. But as Alex stares at the row of empty tumblers lined up in front of her, like trophies, she can't quite recollect how one became two and four and finally six. But more worryingly than that, she realises that she still feels remarkably lucid._

' _You want another?' The bartender asks, pointing at the glasses. Alex looks up at him wearily. He's overweight and red in the face. His neck is too fat for his shirt and consequently, folds of flab are spilling out over the collar, buttons straining in their holes, desperate for release: an overripe tomato ready to burst._

 _She shakes her head. 'Just the check' comes the mutter. The bartender nods and waddles towards the till. She pulls her cell phone out of her pocket and stares at it for what feels like the hundredth time in the last hour. But there's nothing from Piper. Still. Just a text message from Stefan, that simply says 'call me'. And she's suddenly wishing she'd taken the bartender up on his offer, allowed him to pour her a refill and another and another until the edges of the world become softer and blurred and she can regard everything through a safe, sepia warmth. But before she knows what she's doing and even though it's past midnight, she finds herself dialing the number to Black Diamond Security. Not caring if it's too late, after all, it isn't unusual for Stefan to be working into the early hours of the next day._

 _She's on hold for a couple of minutes, because Stefan's just finishing a meeting with an overseas client. She's informed. It's overrun by half an hour. She's informed. He's closing an important deal. She's informed. But he's hurrying to end it when he realises Alex is on the phone. She guesses._

' _Alex?' The slight breathless undertone to his voice confirms to her she was most likely correct._

' _Hey' she replies, aiming for friendly, but her voice is cracking and she doesn't know how to make it stop, because she knows this could be the end, that no matter how fondly he's come to regard her, there has to come a point when he washes his hands of Alex Vause, like everyone else. This may just be one fuck up too many. Even for a good guy like Stefan._

' _Are you ok?'_

 _She swallows hard, forcing the lump in her throat back down, running a hand roughly over her face; a warning to any tears that may be bubbling up to the surface, because she doesn't do this. She doesn't let people in._

' _Mmmhhhmm' is all she can manage. Words are bad, words are what will cause the hot pin pricks of tears in her eyes to spill over. To make this all real._

' _I've spoken to Ms. Chapman'._

 _And she's not quite sure she wants to hear what's coming next, whether or not she can handle it. So she says nothing, instead busying her fingers with a coin she's pulled out of her pocket and laid down on the countertop: spinning it and then stopping it dead between her thumb and forefinger. Halting its progress abruptly._

' _Alex? You still there?' Stefan continues, concern clouding his words._

' _Sure' she chokes out. She closes her eyes momentarily and a crimson curtain descends. She flicks them open again, so quickly, she almost jolts herself in shock._

' _She said it was her fault. All of it.'_

' _ **Her**_ _fault?' she repeats, with a voice that sounds nothing like her own._

' _Yes. She said that she had distracted you, insisted you accompany her outside the marquee. That she took your ear piece from you because she was playing a prank.'_

' _But…' and she stops there, because she has no idea what she wants to say, only that the wave of relief that is presently washing over her is causing the room to spin. She grips the bar top to steady herself, taking slow, deep breaths._

' _She's lying isn't she?'. He says it as if it almost isn't a question and Alex knows that it isn't really, it's just perfunctory that he's stated it in that way._

' _I won't mess up again…I know I can….' Her head is swimming and she suddenly realises, she's far more inebriated than she had thought._

 _He's sighing now, she can hear that clearly enough and it's laced with disappointment and that's what stings more than anything. Because even though she's loathed to admit it, she respects him…..likes him even, but yet again, she has fallen short._

' _Come see me tomorrow lunch. We can_ _ **try**_ _and fix this'_

 _Gratitude is what she should express, she knows that, because this goddamn man has bailed her out more times than she would care to remember, but she always finds it so hard to say thank you. So she tells him she appreciates it and she'll be on time and she's content with that, because her gets_ _ **her**_ _, understands what she means and that's what makes him one of the best people she knows._

' _Get some rest' he says before hanging up. She can't disagree with that. So she settles the check, grabs her jacket, enjoying the sobering effects of the frosty nip in the air, as she begins her short stroll home. Her pace is quick and steady, only slowing as she approaches her building and spots a figure sitting on the bottom step. It's_ _ **her.**_

 _She looks a little paler than normal and when she stands, she places a hand gingerly, protectively just under her ribcage on the left hand side of her body. The wound. Still raw. A pang of_ _ **something,**_ _stabs at Alex, she doesn't want to analyse what it is. Not just yet. She glances across the street and spots the car. Mike is sat in the front with Raoul. They both force thin lipped smiles in her direction, she doesn't even bother to return the gesture, her eyes simply dart back to Piper._

' _Alex' she says softly and there's no mistaking what feeling that elicits, as Alex can feel her heart swell._

' _You shouldn't be here Piper. You_ _ **can't**_ _be here' she replies, forcing the words out, hoping they will have the desired effect._

' _But where else would I be?'_

 _Her reply is so sincere, that it hits Alex full and hard in the chest; no sucker punch, there never was with Piper._

' _I just think that you should be at home and….'_

'… _..I went to see them…Black Diamond, Stefan, I told them everything was_ _ **my**_ _fault, that_ _ **I**_ _distracted you that….'_

' _I know, I spoke to Stefan earlier…'_

' _Oh...so you're not pleased?'_

' _Piper….'_

' _Because you don't seem it…'_

' _I just…I can't do this right now, you need to go, it's late and…'_

 _Piper's eyes are glassy now, shimmering in the watery glow of the street lamp. 'What are we doing Alex? What is_ _ **this?**_ _Because you tell me to keep away, force distance between us and yet…' she doesn't need to finish the sentence. She never did._

' _That night…..you said you were in love with me'_

 _She's holding her gaze now, so powerfully, that Alex isn't sure she has the strength to look away, even if she wanted to._

' _Alex. You said you were in love with me'. The words are firmer this time. Purposeful little jabs. And yet Alex remains silent, listening to the gentle hum of the car engine across the street, knowing full well that Raoul is already thinking of his nightly shot of bourbon and his bed, the familiar, milky warmth of his wife._

' _Go home Piper' she finally replies. 'You don't belong here'. She doesn't wait for a response, she turns on her heel and darts up the stone steps, not even bothering to grace her with a fleeting glance. She hits the second flight, and reaches her front door, breathless and agitated, fumbling with keys, tripping over the doormat._

' _Vause? That you?' Nicky calls out from the kitchen. But it's all white noise, nothing more, nothing less. And it isn't until a few minutes later, when she's being sick in the bathroom that she realises._

 _Today is Christmas Eve._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

She's applying lipstick in the mirror when she hears the commotion.

'It's a fucking package from Amazon, get your goddamn hands off me!' a surly male voice says.

She glances out of her bedroom window, overlooking the front of the house and spots Alex having a heated exchange with an acne-ridden courier outside the automatic gates. He can't be older than nineteen, twenty-one, tops and despite all the bravado, it's very evident that Alex is intimidating him. He's scrawny and she has at least three inches on him. Piper imagines that the gun safely tucked in her holster isn't doing much to relax him either.

'Look buddy' Alex interrupts, 'there's two ways you can do this, we can do the pat down, nice and easy, like all the other couriers agree to, _or,_ see my pals Mike and Ethan over there?'

The courier looks over at the two Burly men smoking cigarettes, leaning against the black 4x4 and then back at Alex. He swallows hard.

'So? What's it gonna be, cos you're not leaving this package here until we do this'.

'F..Fine' he concedes, still trying to maintain an air of confidence.

'Good, now drop the package on the floor and face the wall, arms and legs spread'. He drops the parcel gently at his feet and proceeds to position himself against the wall as he's been told to do so.

'Ethan' Alex yells. 'Can you come take a look at this package'

'It's from Amazon' the delivery boy interrupts.

'I heard you the first time kid, now keep quiet'

Ethan wonders over and scoops up the box. He examines it carefully, sniffs it, holds it to his ear, shakes it a little and declares it 'good'.

'Doesn't look like the others?'

'Nah…there was a strange smell coming from all of those…'

'Yea, well dead rat isn't gonna be a delicious assault on the senses now is it?' Alex replies deadpan.

'I have other deliveries to make you know' the courier says, almost pleading now.

'Ok ok kid, quit your wining!'

Piper's eyes follow Alex intently as she carries out the pat down. She knows the security people carry them out with all unknown persons before they enter the grounds, but she's never taken any interest in it. _Now_ however, her eyes cannot leave the scene, as Alex's hands work quickly and efficiently. She's finished in less than a minute and the courier doesn't bother to hide his relief, bolting back to his van as soon as he is able, but Piper cannot shake _that_ image of Alex from her mind.

She hurries over to the house phone on the nightstand and dials the maid, asking for Alex to be sent up. She arrives a few minutes later a little bemused.

'Is everything alright?' she asks, standing on the threshold of Piper's bedroom, as if there is an invisible line that she knows she must not cross.

'You look worried' Piper replies grinning, quite enjoying the apparent power she has over Alex, 'there's no need to be…and you can come in…you won't set some special alarm off or anything…'

'Well, I wasn't sure if staff were allowed in your private quarters' she smirks.

'You're not staff, you bought me a birthday cake…..you beat me at the stare out game…even though you cheated' and then she smiles and it hits her eyes in a way that makes Alex momentarily forget that she's hired help, dispensable, because she swears when this girl smiles at her, it _means_ something, although she has yet to fathom quite what, only that she would quite like to figure it out.

'I didn't cheat…..'

'No?'

'No'

'So what happened then?'

'You got distracted by something beautiful…..and maybe I did too…..'

'Oh yea? What was that?' Piper asks.

Alex pauses, green eyes flashing with mischief….but she shouldn't, she can't…Ava, Donovan…Black Diamond….'the snowflakes' she says smiling. 'Just the snowflakes'

'Uh huh' Piper replies, unconvinced. 'Well then, let's hope you're less distracted now, because I need you to teach me something'

'Teach you?'

'Yup'

'Whaddya need to learn?' Alex asks, her suspicions heightened.

'How to frisk'

Alex laughs, 'are you kidding me?'

'Does it look like I'm kidding?'

'Well, no…no it doesn't, but why do you need to…'

'Shhhh…' Piper says, raising her forefinger to her lips, 'anyone ever tell you that you ask too many questions?'

'It's part of my job Pipe…Ms. Chapman'

'Really, Ms. Chapman?'

'Really'

'Ok, well then Alex, Ms Chapman is going to show you what she learnt about frisking from watching you just now with the courier boy. Now stand facing the far wall.

'Piper…'

'Ms. Chapman remember?'

'Look, I don't know what you're doing…'

'Just. Do. It'

Her voice is firm and flat, her eyes slightly narrowed, but there's a strange juxtaposition with the soft lines of her face and her golden hair that makes Alex want to comply, so she silently does as is requested.

'Spread your legs' Piper requests and before Alex has the chance to consider anything further, she can feel the blonde tucking herself in behind her, her warm breath in her ear. 'Tell me when to stop…..if I'm… _bad'_

Alex's breath hitches in the back of her throat. She cannot remember the last time she allowed herself to be exposed in this way, but oddly, the vulnerability is laced with a strange exhilaration.

'Ready?' and Alex swears she felt the lightest of touches brushing against the nape of her neck, the slight moistness of lips…but she cannot be certain.

'From what I remember' Piper continues, you began like this' she runs her hand slowly from the base of Alex's ankle and up to the top of her thigh. Her fingers make delicious lingering strokes, inching their way closer and closer towards Alex's warmth. The muscle in Alex's jaw is pulsing frenziedly, her hands balled into fists, her breathing shallow and rapid.

'You're squirming a bit there Vause' Piper rasps, 'but I'm not sure I can stop…I need to be _thorough'._

If Alex could form words, she would, but right now her eyes are squeezed shut and images appear haphazardly in her mind, like an errant camera flash, but Piper shows no sign of stopping and Alex can feel the blonde's hot, wet breath on her neck, can smell her. And it's not perfume or cosmetics; it's just _her._ She smells new, like the first dew of spring or the first fluttering leaf of fall. And her mind is racing, she should tell her to stop, needs to tell her to stop….and yet the words will not transfer themselves to her lips.

'Oh I almost forgot' Piper continues and it's clear she's enjoying this, reveling in the ability she has to make Alex lose control of her senses. 'You could have a weapon concealed under here' she says, slipping her fingers under Alex's shirt, the underwire of her bra. Her fingers circle Alex's nipple, feeling it become rigid under her touch until Alex can no longer bear it. She spins round, grabbing Piper by the wrists and now she is the one trapped, her back flat against the wall as they lock eyes.

'Don't forget, you're dealing with a professional' Alex grins, scrutinising Piper's rouged lips, thinking there's nothing more that she would like than to taste them, smudge the perfect serenity of the crimson, so she leans in, watching as Piper softly closes her eyes in anticipation, ignoring every rational thought screaming through her mind.

'Piper…Pipes! You up here?!' It's Polly.

Alex snaps back almost as if she has been stung and hurriedly re-arranges her clothes.

'Piper?' Polly says, peering cautiously around the door and spotting her flustered looking friend.

'Poll' Piper replies, desperately trying to regulate her breathing.

'I better head back down' Alex interrupts, not even bothering to acknowledge Polly and darting out of the door.

'What was that about?' Polly says, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

'I'm not entirely sure' Piper replies, grinning 'but it was fun'

'What?'

'Oh…nothing…'

'You're weird sometimes, you know that Pipes?' Polly replies, still regarding her friend closely.

'Maybe' she says.

She doesn't stop smiling for the rest of the day.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: This chapter is rated M, cos there's fucking and Lycra…and rain.**

 **Enjoy.**

The smell of Cloves and cinnamon hit Piper's nose first and there's a comforting familiarity about it that elicits pleasant memories. Mulled wine lightly bubbling on the Chapman stove. The only booze that Carol doesn't down in less than three gulps: _medicinal mouthfuls_. When things were at least bearable, even just for a tiny slice of time. Before….

'Here' Alex says, handing her a paper cup. Steam billows out of it in spice-tinged clouds. 'I have it on good authority that this is made to a special Irish recipe'

'What does that mean?' Piper replies, furrowing her brow in confusion.

Alex stuffs a hand into her coat and pulls out a silver hip flask. 'Whiskey, the secret ingredient' she grins.

Piper takes a tentative sip, regarding Alex closely over the rim of the cup.

'Good?'

'Mhhm'.

She's not lying, the warmth of the booze feels pleasant as it settles in her stomach and as the liquid cools, she takes larger and larger gulpfuls, until she realises, that Alex really wasn't kidding about the 'Irish' element of the drink and she can suddenly feel herself swaying a little, with the breeze and with the pretty Christmas lights that have been strung up around the square. But it's lending her a little Dutch courage, enough at least to ask Alex what she pleases.

'So what _are_ you doing here tonight?' she almost blurts out.

'Same thing as you'

'Waiting for the Christmas tree to be put up?'

'Yea…and getting a little hammered'

'I'm not hammered'

'Yet'

'Is this your plan?'

'Plan?'

'For me?'

Alex laughs and leans in a little, dropping her voice to a sumptuous rasp 'Oh, the plans I _could_ have for you'

And suddenly Piper's cheeks are flushing and she's pretty certain that it's not the Whiskey. Not this time at least.

'Not feeling quite so brave as the other day, huh?'

And now Piper's thinking she's not nearly drunk _enough._ So she buys them both a couple more drinks, chased down with neat swigs of Alex's Whiskey (mixing it with the mulled wine seems a pointless indulgence) until the distance between them is barely more than an inch, so much so that every now and again, she swears she can feel Alex's hand brush against hers, but rather than flinch at the touch, she finds herself coveting more. More than she should. More than she knows is good for her. But she still avoids answering the question. So it sits heavily between them, a barrier of sorts, until _another_ cup is empty.

'What do you _want_ Piper?'

She's licking her lips. Is this an invitation? Piper knows the answer, doesn't need the question, she probably never really did.

'I….' and then she pauses, because saying it out loud will make it real and she's not sure that either of them are quite ready for that, or what it will mean, because this feels different somehow, a world away from the teasing in her room the other day. This isn't just about raw desire, or searing flesh, because the pang she gets every time Alex looks at her, or wishes her good morning, penetrates deeper than that, to a place that's been long forgotten.

'Piper, do you want another drink or not?'

 _A drink. That's all she's asking._

And then suddenly, Piper's gasping for air and she's not even sure why, just that she feels like she's suffocating.

'Piper?' Alex says, clearly noticing something is amiss, 'are you ok?'

No reply, just background noise blurring into a singular dull hum. The lights are too bright, the colours too vivid and the sweet, sickly scent of Glühwein carrying on the breeze, is making her feel queasy.

'Piper?' Her voice is urgent now.

'I just….'

'You want to go home?'

'No…it's fine…'

Alex's eyes flick across the square, seeking out her colleague. She spots Mike over by a group of over excited children. He nods at her and she beckons him over.

'What's up Vause, can't even keep away on your day off huh?' but the pleasantries soon disappear when he realises that Piper has a slightly strange expression on her face.

'Yea, I just came to see the Christmas tree' she mumbles hurriedly, 'Look, I don't think Piper's feeling that great, can you arrange for her to be taken home?'

'Sure, sure….the car's parked over the other side of the Square, on Nelson street, Ethan is nearby, I'll take her now'.

'Go on ahead Mike, I'll follow you with Piper' Alex says. Mike nods and walks five yards or so in front of them.

'Wait, Al, you're _not_ coming?' Piper interrupts

'To the car, yes'

Piper can't hide her disappointment, but if she's being really honest, she's not even trying. 'I just don't…I don't want to be alone…Mom is away, Cal's at Neri's and….'

'You won't be alone, Mike is going with you'.

 _She's going to be late to meet the girl._

'Please' she says and there's the merest hint of vulnerability in the gentle quiver of her voice, that's making this harder than it needs to be for Alex, harder than it _should_ be.

 _She needs to meet the girl. It's for the best._

'Piper I can't, I have a….thing'

'A thing?'

They swerve a group of errant teenagers. Paper cups are tossed in the air, met with yelps off approval. The sleeve of Alex's coat is splashed with booze. 'Watch it assholes' she hisses at no one in particular.

'You didn't answer me' Piper says, staying close to the brunette, 'What thing?'

'A drinks thing'

'Oh' she replies. She can't bring herself to ask any more questions, because she has a fair idea of what Alex is alluding to, so she bites back the words she really wants to say, instead, snatching the hipflask out of Alex's pocket and draining the remainder of its contents dry.

'What, so you're not gonna offer me any of my _own_ drink? How awfully ill mannered of you' she grins.

'Fuck you!' Piper snaps. She knows Alex is just chiding her, but she's still sore from the revelation of the 'drinks' so she allows herself the indulgence of being a little salty, a little blunt. She wears it pretty well she thinks.

They're approaching the car, the din from the festivities has dulled to nothing more than a light buzz.

'Ok' Alex says stopping in her tracks, 'Mike will take over from here. My advice? When you get in, take some painkillers and head straight to bed, ok? Piper?'

She's staring down at the ground, kicking at some non existent dirt, won't make eye contact, _can't_ make eye contact.

'Goodnight' Alex says, turning and leaving.

Piper doesn't reply, just follows Mike to the car, sliding wordlessly into the back seat, the gentle motion of the vehicle eventually lulling her into a slumber of sorts, as the city lights fade to nothing.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

She knows that Mike thinks it's a bad idea as soon as she suggests it, because he's reluctant to finish his coffee, to stub out his cigarette, but she's been pacing the floor of her bedroom for hours now and the restlessness refuses to abate.

'I won't be long' she insists and even as she is speaking, the rain is becoming heavier; persistent fat pellets hammering on the bonnet of the car that Mike is leaning against.

'Obviously it's _your_ prerogative Ms. Chapman, but I really would advise…'

'Yes it is' she says. The subject is not open for discussion. She needs this.

'Ok then, Raoul and I will tail you. Which route are you planning to run?'

'Up near the park'

He's silent again. Piper can see him clenching his jaw.

'Mike it will be fine'.

He doesn't reply, just tosses back the remainder of his coffee and flicks the cigarette stub into the distance.

'I'll be back down in five' she says grinning. She returns to the house, pulls on running pants, a windbreaker and some sneakers. She yanks the hood up, tugging on the pull chords painfully hard to secure it and jogs down the steps, not bothering to stop when she reaches the bottom, but simply gathering speed as she bolts across the gravel drive. She's so quick that Raoul almost doesn't spot her and then he's frantically fumbling with the ignition, the engine growling into life as he takes after her.

She follows the route as discussed, her feet pounding the shimmering sidewalks. The street lamps become dimmer and less frequent as she approaches the park and she knows that that this is precisely the reason Mike was silent when she mentioned this route. Part of her is beginning to regret her choice, especially as the unrelenting rain is distorting her vision further, but it feels good to be out in the cool night air and the drumming of her heart and the aching in her chest feels different to when she's near Alex and she's fucking glad of the reprieve.

She has no idea how long she's been running before her legs begin to feel a little shaky and a fire shoots through her calves. She's only vaguely aware of a dulled beam of light being cast by the headlamps of the car, but she can't bring herself to stop and part of her is hoping that she'll run out of paving slabs, that at some point, she'll have reached the end of the world and there'll be nothing to stare into but a dark chasm. She closes her eyes, trying to imagine what it would feel like to tumble into nothingness. When she opens them again, she realises she's crashed straight into the warmth of _something_ else, of _someone_ else.

It's Alex.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Her name is Cara. That is as much as Alex has revealed so far.

 _Why is she back so late?_

'Why were you running at this time Piper?'

 _Has she been to her place?_

'You're soaking wet, what if you catch a cold?'

 _Has she planned to see her again?_

'Raoul, can you turn the heat up in here please?'

'Do you like her?' Piper asks, finally mustering up enough courage.

'Huh?'

'The girl…Cara….did you like her?'

'Piper' Alex sighs. She shifts her position slightly so that her knees are now a little further away from the blonde's and Piper cannot help but to take it as a stinging rebuff, but she's not going to back down, not now.

'Just answer the question. Did. You. Like. Her.' She says it a little louder than she intended and Alex is concerned that either Mike or Raoul has heard, but if they have, their reactions don't betray anything.

'Yes ok, I liked her. She was nice, she was funny…she was sweet. Is that a complete enough answer for you?!'

'Yea, well if she's so great, why were you wandering about in the rain at this time of night?'

'My car broke down, my buddy lives along Maple Street so I was making my way there. Anything else?'

'No' Piper mumbles, suddenly becoming aware of the chill that is seeping through to her bones, as the wet clothes cling to her like a second skin.

The rest of the journey is carried out in relative silence. Piper is certain she's crossed a line of sorts and she's so focused on this, that it's only when the car comes to an abrupt halt, that she realises they've reached home. Raoul opens the door for her and she clambers out into the misty night air, the thinnest wisps of moisture, the last remaining remnants of the earlier downpour.

'Vause, I'm knocking off in half and hour, want me to give you a ride back to your place?' Mike says, joining Alex and Piper under the Chapman's front stoop. 'I'll call my buddy Geoff in the morning, he's a mechanic, he can tow your car back to his garage if you want? You remember where you left it?'

'Yea, on the corner of third and main'

'Ok, I'll let him know'

'Thanks'

'No problem. You may want to dry off inside, standing around in wet clothes too long won't do you much good'

She shrugs.

'He's right' Piper chimes in. 'I've got some clothes you can borrow'

'I'm fine, really'

'Do you have to be so stubborn about this? You really want to lose out on pay when you can't make work cos you've got a bitch of a cold?'

She's got a point goddamn her. So Alex concedes reluctantly and follows her into the house.

The warmth of the hallway is delicious and causes her to shiver a little, as if her bones are easing themselves back into life.

'I've got some sweats you can borrow, something that won't damage your street cred too badly' Piper grins, but it's almost apologetic as if she's not certain whether it's acceptable to make a joke right now. Judging by Alex's silence, she's guessing not.

She leads the way up the staircase to her room and Alex is trying desperately to avert her gaze from the gentle curve of Piper's ass, the inviting plumpness of it and despite her best intentions, her heart is thumping relentlessly at the thought.

When they get to her room, Piper disappears for a few minutes and returns with a set of clothes and towel, which she places on the bed next to Alex. The brunette regards her closely. She's removed the windbreaker, leaving just a black tank and from the prominence of her nipples straining against the fabric, Alex is certain that she's not wearing a bra.

'You're staring' Piper says, almost smirking, 'it's not becoming'.

'Neither is wandering around in front of a guest braless'

'Are you complaining?' Piper replies, sounding braver than she feels, trying to choke back the slight trembling of her voice, because really, she has no idea where _this_ is going, or even _what_ she is doing, only that she desperately has to know what Alex Vause tastes like. And she's past wanting to analyse it, she just knows, she needs _this._ Now.

'Well I never said that, did I?' She's barely finished her sentence before Piper's tank lands in a soggy, wrinkly heap at the foot of the bed and Alex is certain that she's never seen anything so beautiful as the woman stood before her.

Piper's blonde hair hangs in loose, ringlets, slightly darkened at the tips by the damp. Alex follows the trail down to the blushing plumpness of her nipples and the gentle fullness of her breasts and she's trying to avert her gaze, to make this less obvious, to listen to the screaming rationality of her mind, but when Piper walks over to her and sits astride her, it's all Alex can do to keep control of her senses.

Blue hues lock with green and Piper places a warm hand in middle of Alex's chest and pushes her firmly back onto the bed. 'Piper..I' she begins, hoping to form some words of protest, but if they sounded weak in her mind, they sound even more ineffectual out loud. But the words are quickly stifled with something else, something infinitely better; Piper Chapman's lips.

If manna ever had a description, Alex is confident that Piper's lips would fit the bill, because she's as certain as she can be, that she's never tasted anything quite so exquisite and the gentle ease with which the kiss begins, quickly morphs into something else; something hotter, urgent, more dangerous.

Alex's hands graze the flesh around the elastic of Piper's track pants, ready to dip inside, continue their exploration, but then Piper is pulling away, a glimmer of _something_ in her eyes.

'Easy Vause, today _I'm_ in charge' she says, taking Alex's hands and pinning them above her head.

The newly exposed vulnerability makes Alex squirm a little and she's surprised at the physical strength of the blonde, because her grip is firmer than Alex would have guessed she was capable of.

Piper arches her back fractionally and shimmies slightly further up the length of Alex's body, dangling her right breast over the brunette's slightly parted lips. And Alex is done with being instructed, as she raises her head just enough to capture Piper's nipple between her teeth, tugging at it gently and eliciting a moan from the blonde, as she closes her eyes and gyrates her hips a little, loosening the grip on Alex's wrists.

Alex's hands immediately drop to either side of Piper's waist and in one smooth motion, she flips her onto her back, before their lips feverishly meet each others once again.

'I told you before' she mumbles, against Piper's mouth ' _I'm_ the professional'. Piper doesn't argue, doesn't dare, because she doesn't want to break this energy that is pulsing through her, right from her fingertips and through to the warmth of her core. She closes her eyes, can feel the heat of Alex's breath on her neck, the pressure of her lips leaving a delicately, ticklish trail of kisses past the dip in her breasts and down her stomach. Alex's hands tug at the fabric of her pants and suddenly Piper is cursing Lycra.

'The fuck are these made of?!' Alex says, frustration blurring the edges of her words.

'Just tear them off, do whatever' Piper replies squirming, a warm wetness pooling between her legs.

They do tear, but neither of them give it a passing thought as they are tossed in a heap to join the discarded tank.

Her underwear is black and lacey and Alex's lips blow lightly over the delicate fabric so it brushes gently against Piper's clit, causing the most agonizingly, light friction. 'Fuck' Piper rasps, writhing on the cusp of agony and ecstasy.

The smell of her is something else, it's heady and intoxicating and Alex cannot wait any longer. She rips the crotch aside with her fingers and buries then deep within Piper's warmth. They slide in slick and easy, coated in Piper's desire and Alex can feel her clit pulsing; burgeoning, begging for Piper's release, so she increases the pace, thrusting deeper and harder, feeling a sharp wave of pain as Piper's fingernails embed themselves into her damp flesh.

'Mmmmhmm, god..fuck….' She groans as her hips pick up the rhythm of Alex's hand and in that moment, everything about them is in sync; soul to soul, mind locked with mind, body coveting body, until Piper's exploding beneath her, her lips exhaling, releasing raptured breath into Alex's awaiting mouth; her ecstasy captured forever.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _Excerpt 4_

 _Ms. Vause contends that Mr Lovegood first raised the subject of Heroin in December 2011 at the Country club's Christmas party. He was attending as Ms. Lawrence's guest._

 _Ms. Vause alleges that after dinner, Mr. Lovegood began asking her the specifics of her salary and insisted that even the 'runners' involved in his narcotics ring, earned at least triple what she did per month._

 _Ms. Vause concedes that she previously has used Heroin, but has been 'clean' since 2009. She confirms that at_ _ **no**_ _stage did she agree to any involvement in Mr. Lovegood's 'business' and admits to putting his comments down to the alcohol she had witnessed him consuming all evening._

 _When asked whether she had witnessed any dealings regarding Mr. Lovegood's narcotics business, Ms. Vause confirms that she did not. She re-iterates that Black Diamond's contract was with Ms. Lawrence and therefore all their resource was directed towards their client._

 _The level of Ms. Lawrence's involvement in Mr. Lovegood's narcotics ring was not known by Ms. Vause, but she confirms that following the Christmas party that night, Mr. Lovegood and Ms. Lawrence began spending increasing amounts of time together and the coming and going of 'new faces' at Ms. Lawerence's home, began to become more frequent._

 _Ms. Vause confirms that she had no contact, either verbal or physical, with the visitors to the Lawrence residence._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _ **Devil's hour-conversations and confusions**_

 _They were midnight's children, something gave them life, allowed them to form and grow: together._

 _The dark isn't soothing her tonight. The cool shadows seem to taunt, dancing around the edge of her room. And the words, they're on infinite loop in her mind, gathering pace as each hour passes._

' _ **I'm sorry Ms. Vause, there's been an accident…'**_

 _She knows that tone of voice, heard it all her life: pity and forced empathy._

' _ **The truck, it lost control….'**_

 _And there was screaming: a siren in the background…..a child at play….her mind…_

' _ **The paramedics, they attempted resuscitation at the scene, but…'**_

'… _.it was too late. She doesn't need them to finish the sentence, she already knows, because of the hesitancy…because of history, because life has never been kind to Alex Vause, can't quite bring itself to cut her some slack._

' _ **Your mother's dead'**_

 _And there's that searing pain again, cleaving at the very fabric of her soul, shredding it into restless ribbons, fluttering in the dark chaos._

 _So when Piper is pressing her buzzer, making her way up the stairwell and standing in the door-way, she doesn't know what else to do but sink into her, let her tears soak her skin and pray that tomorrow, she will realise, it was all just a dream…._


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N:**_

 _ **Amare di meno, è un'impossibilità virtuale**_

 _ **Per non ho scelta in materia**_

 _ **Enjoy.**_

It's 4am when Alex blinks her eyes open. She's naked, Piper's body curled around her softly: a question mark to something that has already been answered. She shrugs her off as gently as possible, only causing the lightest of stirs, before padding barefoot to her pants, hanging at the end of the bed. She removes a box of cigarettes, lights one, cracks a drape-less window open and sticks her head out into the cool night air. The watery mist has given way to an icy breeze and she finds herself shivering a little, watching the smoke catch and unfurl into nothingness.

The saltshaker tattoo, on the back of her left shoulder, feels as if it's pulsing, but if she's honest, she's not feeling lucky tonight. No devils warded off. Because she's as sure as she can be, that this whole thing with Piper has been a horrible mistake.

Mike's suspicions had been roused when Alex had confirmed she wouldn't be needing a ride after all, that Ms. Chapman had insisted she stay in one of the guest rooms until the morning.

'The guest room?' Mike repeats, almost to himself.

 _Piper's bed,_ Alex's mind hisses, so loudly, that she's not confident Mike hasn't overheard.

'Yea' she replies, but it doesn't sound firm and she can't even make eye contact, the toe of her boot kicking at stray bits of gravel. She imagines what it would feel like for a piece to become embedded in her supple flesh: shrapnel. The tearing, the pain and strangely, she finds the thought a little soothing.

'Well ok then' he says, stubbing out his cigarette and turning to walk towards the car, but then he stops suddenly, almost as if he's forgotten something. 'You're ok though, right Vause?'

He says it like he doesn't really believe that she is, so Alex knows, no matter what her reply, Mike is not going to be appeased. So she just nods silent.

' _Shrapnel'_ her mind taunts as she stares at a particularly jagged piece of stone.

'Ok then, guess I'll see you tomorrow _'._ He crunches over to the car and is gone within a minute. Alex breathes a huge sigh of relief, but she knows it's only a matter of time before he twigs, if he hasn't already and she's not sure what to do about that, only that she cannot, under any circumstance, afford to lose this job. But does she trust anyone else enough to take care of Piper? The question is pointless, because she knows the answer before it's even formed.

 _NO._

'Penny for them' Piper's sleepy voice mumbles. Alex stubs out her cigarette, tosses it into the night and pulls the window shut.

'You're awake' she says, turning to face Piper's silhouetted form.

'Your powers of observation are quite something else Vause, how many years you spend honing them?' she grins and then pauses momentarily as if trying to assess Alex's expression. 'Come back to bed' she says, lowering her voice, giving it an invitingly soft lilt.

Alex shakes her head.

'Please?' Her eyes are warm and bright and there's an earnestness about it all that's making Alex's gut churn, because she's going to ruin this girl, like she ruins _everything._ And she's not sure she would be capable of living with that.

'I should go'

'Oh…'. Her expression has dropped, to something that Alex is all too familiar with: disappointment. 'So what, I'm just a fuck and chuck now, is that what this was?' She says propping herself up in bed slightly and flicking on the lamp sat on the nightstand.

The raw light makes Alex feels more exposed somehow, in a way she has no idea how to contend with and it would be easy to say yes, just grab her clothes and walk out, let Piper think the worst of her. In many ways, it would be the safest bet, because she knows Piper wouldn't tell a soul about this, not Stefan, not Mike, not Polly Harper. But there's something about the wronged tremble to her tone that stabs rather inconveniently at Alex, rooting her to spot.

'Al?'

'No of course you aren't' she replies, resolve cracking. She slides back under the sheets next to her. They still feel clammy from sex. The thought makes her smile.

Piper re-adjusts herself slightly so her weight is resting on her left elbow as she reaches across to trace the outline of Alex's flower tattoo. Alex's gaze trails her, wordlessly.

'It's pretty' Piper says, breaking the silence, 'I like it'.

Alex laughs. 'Well there's not awful lot I could do about it if you didn't'

'Why did you get it?'

Alex shrugs. 'I dunno, I guess I just liked the idea that a tiny, ubiquitous seed can bloom into something….. striking. That life can…y'know….be created from the non- descript, with just a little nurturing'.

'Wow'

'What?'

'That's actually kinda beautiful'.

Alex chuckles, 'Well, either that, or they had 25% off of floral designs when I went to get it done, I'll let you decide'.

Piper doesn't reply, just leans in closer and kisses her full and soft on the lips and it's all too easy for Alex to lose herself in the sea of emotion that the taste of her lips elicits, so that momentarily, the world seems nice again; untainted. But then Piper pulls away, breathless and smiley, allowing reality to cleave through the moment, like a jagged tear through a dusty polaroid.

'What're you thinking?' She asks, curling a tendril of Alex's hair around her ring finger.

 _I should leave._

'Nothing much'

'Must be something, you have a stern expression on your face'

 _I'm going to hurt you._

'Oh yea? Like what?'

'Like you're ready to discipline somebody'

 _I can't do this._

She shakes her head, 'No, nothing like that, but Piper, you need to listen to me, ok?' Her expression is hard, professional, bordering on cold and the change of mood immediately sets Piper on edge.

'Ok…'

'I….' but before she has a chance to finish her sentence, there's a loud clattering sound from downstairs and the unmistakable shattering of glass. 'What the…'

'Oh my god Alex…what is it…..wha….' Piper's eyes are wide, _fearful_ and wide, breath hitching in the back of her throat.

Alex scrambles of out of bed, pulls on her pants and a discarded tank, scanning the room for a possible weapon. All she can find is a pair of vanity scissors. She stuffs them into the back pocket of her pants.

'Stay here, I'll be back' she barks, her senses heightened to fever pitch.

'But Al….'

'Don't argue with me Piper, please, just stay here and lock the door, got it?'

Piper nods, bunching the bedclothes around her.

'Be careful' she manages to croak, but Alex has already left, the soft click of the catch on the door punctuating her departure.

The landing is shadowy, a slice of moonlight dances off a crystal vase that sits empty on an end table, pretty refractions carving through the stillness.

It's the creaking of the bottom most step that makes Alex certain that danger is imminent; the hesitant tread of an intruder, unfamiliar with the layout of the house, so she holds back, tucking herself into the farthest corner of the passageway, heart thrumming in her chest; a scatty rhythm. She slides her hand into the back pocket of her pants, fingers curled around the cool metal of the scissors, clasping them like a dagger and waits, scared to even lick her lips, because this isn't like all the other times, all the other jobs, she has a vested interest: Piper Chapman.

Another two steps. A pause.

Alex is counting to ten, her fingers tightening around the blades with each passing second.

 _Three….four…..five…._

Piper's bedroom door is directly facing the top of the staircase, but this chump isn't gonna make it that far, not even close.

Another few steps, then a slight jog: he's gaining confidence.

 _Six…seven…..eight….._

She's gripping the scissors so firmly now, that it takes her a little while to realise that the pressure she is applying has torn through the soft flesh of her palm and the warm stickiness currently seeping through her fingers is her own blood, but it's nothing more than collateral damage; a sacrificial offering…except what she's muttering under her breath right now is no prayer, as she watches the hooded figure climb the penultimate step, eyes glinting in the dark, firmly fixed of the door directly ahead of him.

 _Nine….._

… _..Deliverance._

Alex's leaps out of the shadows, right fist meeting him thickly, square on the jaw and the shock, as much as the impact of the blow, sends him stumbling backwards on the staircase, arms flailing in the air, like a stunned bird attempting to take flight, but Alex doesn't give him long enough to steady himself as her left hand sinks the scissors deep into his right shoulder, deep enough that the implement jars when it hits bone, but she's not done yet.

The man releases a guttural groan as Alex removes the scissors, hand flying to the wound, but mere seconds later, the groan turns into more of a primal howl as Alex embeds the metal at the base of his throat. A warm smattering of blood coats her face: war paint, as the man's cries morph into a choked gurgle.

There's screaming (her mind. Piper standing in the doorway of her bedroom) she can't be sure, can't differentiate between the two, can't afford to stop and analyse.

'Alex!'

It's a pitiful cry…..for mercy….an appeal to the humanity within her. But as the man's sweaty hand clamps around the wooden bannister, the adrenalin coursing through Alex, propels her, momentum chiding her into raining blow after blow, until his fingers can no longer find traction on the varnished wood, as he stumbles back into nothingness, lost to the shadows and to the night, as he lands with a sickening, lifeless thud at the bottom of the stairs.

Alex closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and licks her lips. She can taste blood.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _ **Devil's hour-conversations and confusions**_

 _They were midnight's children, something gave them life, allowed them to form and grow: together._

 _The funeral was a week ago. Her death, the week before that and Alex swears it's been raining ever since. But she's gotten used to it; the gleaming sidewalks, the dark swarm of umbrellas, sodden shoes, mildew and clammy flesh._

' _Al?' Piper calls out, her tone is concerned, maybe even a little confused._

 _But Alex doesn't look back, just remains sitting, allowing the damp of the stone steps to seep gradually through to the seat of her pants, affording the rain the opportunity to cleanse her, soothe her, console, where a mother's touch can no longer be sought._

' _Al' she calls again, a little firmer this time and still Alex can't bring herself to speak. And then she feels a hand on her shoulder: the reassurance of warmth._

' _Please come inside, you'll catch your death…' she tails off._

' _You can say the word Piper._ _ **Death.**_ _I won't spontaneously combust or something.'_

 _Neither of them laugh at the attempted joke, in all honesty, neither is sure what that even feels like any more._

' _Al, you can't keep doing this, shutting yourself off, day after day, it's not…it's not…'_

 _Alex stares into the distance, her eyes fixed on a rusty blue Cutlass across the way. It's been parked there for over a three months, no apparent owner, no fixed abode….left in limbo._

' _Will you just talk to me, please?'_

 _The rain's getting heavier now, ricocheting off the sidewalk and sending a group of schoolgirls squealing for cover under the stoop of a nearby grocery store._

 _And it could be five minutes or it could be ten, she's not quite sure, but eventually Alex becomes aware that the rain has given way to something else wet and warm on her cheeks. Her tears._

 _Years later, she always remember, the rain stopped before her tears did._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _Excerpt 5_

 _Mr. Lovegood contends that Ms. Vause's relapse into Heroin use came in December 2011. He mentions that Ms. Lawerence had thrown a dinner party for some friends. Ms. Vause was on shift that night and at approximately 11pm, when Mr. Lovegood retreated outside for a cigarette, Ms. Vause approached him and asked for some 'gear'._

 _Mr. Lovegood confirms that he could smell some form of alcohol on Ms. Vause's breath and was so concerned about this, that he mentioned the incident to Ms. Lawrence on his return to the house._

 _Mr. Lovegood denies any involvement in the narcotics trade and insists that when Ms. Vause approached him, he advised her, firmly, that she was clearly under a misapprehension and he had no idea where she could source 'gear' from. He mentions that Ms. Vause went on to clarify that by 'gear' she was referring to Heroin and Mr. Lovegood confirms that he once again advised her he would not be able to assist with her request._

 _Mr. Lovegood states that he did not advise Black Diamond of Ms. Vause's actions because he did not believe in sticking his 'nose in where it was not wanted' and the security contract was with Ms. Lawrence, not himself. However he confirms (and this is supported by Ms. Lawrence) that he did suggest she should review her security arrangements following the incident._

 _Mr. Lovegood also mentions that later that month, he did witness 'shooting up' in the car, parked outside Ms. Lawrence's house, an allegation that Ms. Vause categorically denies._

 _Mr. Lovegood also mentions that as the months went on, it became more and more apparent that Ms. Vause was harbouring romantic feelings towards Ms. Lawrence, to the point that Mr. Lovegood and Ms. Lawrence began to have regular arguments regarding Ms. Vause's behaviour towards her. Both Mr. Lovegood and Ms. Lawrence confirm that this placed a great deal of strain on their relationship._

 _Ms Lawrence admits that the tumultuous relationship with Mr. Lovegood was one of the catalysts for her affair with Ms. Vause, but she counters that Ms. Vause was very persistent with her advances after their initial kiss at the regatta gala on 23_ _rd_ _February 2012. Ms. Vause also denies these allegations._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _ **Devil's hour-conversations and confusions**_

' _Piper, can you hear me?'_

' _Barely, wait a second' Piper says as she turns to Polly, 'can you turn the music down a bit?' she mouths to her friend, but Polly's already a little drunk as Pete is spinning her around the room in some sort of clumsy dance, so she's in no mood to comply with her friend's request._

' _Wait a second Al, let me go into kitchen' Piper says, leaving her friends to their frivolity, silent for a few seconds as she pulls the door behind her and makes her way into the other room._

' _Pipes…you still there?' Alex says, her voice trembling._

' _Al, what's wrong?' Piper asks, suddenly aware of the shaky intonation of Alex's tone. 'Has something happened?'_

' _I've got two one way tickets to Bali….'_

' _Al…..' she can't finish the sentence, because in truth, she has no clue to respond to what she knows is coming next._

' _Plane leaves in four hours'_

' _Al…'_

' _Meet me outside my apartment in two hours….'_

' _I can't…the FBI….my dad…'_

' _If I could forget you, I would'_

' _What?' the statement takes Piper aback so sharply, that she has to physically steady herself. 'Is this your way of breaking up with me, cos if it is, it's certainly a novel way, I'll give you that'._

 _But Alex isn't laughing, in fact, Piper's certain she's not even cracking a smile. Because this is the most clarity that Alex Vause has ever felt about anything in her whole life._

' _Somewhere, in a parallel universe, there's a you and there's a me and they're happily existing without each other. But we aren't that version of you and me Piper, because we're_ _ **us**_ _and I don't know how it happened, or when, but somehow, we became_ _ **this**_ _and I can't live without that in my life and I realise this makes me sound like a selfish asshole, but I can't help it because…..'_

' _Because?'_

' _Because I fucking love you so much, ok?'_

 _Piper's silent for a moment, she can hear Alex catching her breath at the other end of the line and she has no idea why, but it makes her smile and then it suddenly becomes clear, like a glowing beacon in the mist._

' _I need to pack a bag'_

' _So you'll come?' Alex says and her voice is suddenly light and excited: the danger of hope, daring to blur the edges of her words._

' _Yes you idiot, I'll come' she laughs._

 _And Piper isn't sure why exactly, but she's as certain as she can be, that Alex Vause is the best decision she never made._


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: This one's for you darlin'…and maybe a little cotton candy too.**

 **Enjoy**

It's some time around midnight when Alex realises the gravity of what she's done.

Stefan is looking at her with a mixture of confusion and concern and all Alex can do is stare at the paramedics trying to revive the man slumped at the bottom of the staircase and try to stop her right hand from shaking.

 _We've got a pulse, it's weak, but it's something to work with._

And she's vaguely aware of _someone_ forcing a tumbler of _something_ into her hand. It isn't until she looks up and straight into familiar blue hues, that she realises its Piper.

'I thought you might need something to take the edge off' she smiles weakly.

Alex doesn't even bother to ask what it is, just knocks it back in one searing gulp, willing the edges of everything to become softer, hazier, like wispy summer clouds, drifting through her conscience. She hands the emptied glass back to Piper.

'You got a minute Vause?' Stefan interrupts. 'Ms. Chapman' he says, offering Piper a chaste nod of acknowledgement.

He leads Alex outside and the cold night air hits her with such ferocity, that for a moment, she feels as though she's reeling. And then the jagged edges of the world are bought back into sharp focus once more.

'The police are going to want to take a statement from you' Stefan begins, not bothering with any preamble.

'I know the drill' Alex replies, a little blunter than intended. 'How's Ethan?'

'He's just being checked over, suspected mild concussion, seems the guy dealt him a blow to the head with some sort of blunt object, not yet located, but he'll live'

'Good' Alex replies staring off into the night. The wind picks up, carrying with it the jangling rhythms of a wind chime from somewhere in the distance, setting Alex further on edge.

'You know what I'm going to ask you next, don't you Vause?'

'If I've got any plans for labor day?' she quips, not even bothering to dilute the assholish tone to her voice.

'Alex…' His voice is softer now, dropping the façade of employer to friend.

' _She_ insisted I stay ok, it was late, my car had broken down'

'In what capacity?'

'What?'

'In what capacity did she ask that you stay?'

'In the capacity that my car was fucked and it was late, or did you not hear that part of my story?'

'Story' he repeats, locking his gaze firmly with her. 'That's precisely what this is isn't it Alex, a story…a tale….a _lie'._

'I need a cigarette' she says, patting the pockets of her pants and sighing, frustrated, when she realises she must have left them in Piper's room.

'Here' Stefan says, removing a fat, mahogany coloured cigar from the inside pocket of his coat.

'Bit fancy for a Thursday night' Alex grins.

'I was on my way to a friend's when I got the call, we were going to celebrate the birth of his son, but I figured that you probably need this more than he does, so….'

'Thanks' she says taking it, running her fingertips over the neatly rounded tip. She watches carefully as Stefan cuts the end with a small blade that's tucked inside his wallet. He pulls out a box of matches.

'No lighter?'

'It ruins the taste'

'It's quite the ritual, cigar smoking, huh?'

'Nothing wrong with things being done properly…precisely now and again, is there?'

Alex doesn't reply, she just places the cigar between her lips and watches him strike a match and light the end. She inhales, taking in the rich, woodiness.

'Good?' Stefan asks after a few seconds.

'Not bad…not bad at all' she says, feeling slightly more relaxed.

'You know the crazy thing, if someone asked me to remember the best meal I ever ate I really couldn't remember, but if someone asked me to remember the best cigar I ever had, well now, that I could recollect with ease.

'Oh yea?'

'Absolutely. May 2005, Matira beach, Bora Bora. It was a Nicaraguan brand I'd picked up at this small store near the hotel, never had a smoke like that since. Real, earthy…almost spicy…'

'Wow, I don't think I've ever heard you speak that tenderly about anything' she laughs.

'Perhaps' he replies, allowing himself a small smile. 'But you still haven't answered the original question'

'No, what you mean is, I didn't provide you with the answer that you wanted' Alex says, taking another drag of the cigar. She blows out slightly misshapen smoke rings, popping them with her fingers as she does so, feeling a little more at ease, steadier. Because in the grand scheme of things, whatever the hell she has with Piper, is none of his fucking business.

'How long have you known me Alex?' He says, his eyes still fixed firmly on her.

'I dunno, three…four years…'

'Five years, two months'

'You been counting the days….like a prison sentence?'

'Sometimes I think a prison sentence would have been easier to deal with'

'Oooh, ouch!'

'I told you last time Alex, there would _no more_ chances, the business simply can't afford it…and you…'

'What about me?'

'Well neither can you I don't think'.

'Look, I don't need you judging me, if you want to fire me then just do it'. As soon as the words have left her mouth her mind is chastising her. Because she has to be here, _needs_ to keep this job. For Piper.

He shakes his head. 'That isn't what I want, you're too good to let go, but what you did back there' he says nodding towards the house.

'Oh come on! What the fuck was I supposed to do? Enquire politely what the fuck that dude was doing creeping around the Chapman house late at night? Do you think he stopped to introduce himself to Ethan before he attempted to smash his skull to bits?'

'You're too close to this job Alex…you're getting too emotionally involved….as of today, I'm removing you from case and suspending you for a week'

'What?!' she says, her eyes flashing dangerously, glinting in the dark 'I saved her fucking life back there. You know what they found on the floor next to him at the bottom of the stairs? A gun, a fucking gun. He wasn't play games, he'd come to hurt her, to hurt Piper'. She can barely say her name, because saying it out loud makes it more real somehow and she cannot even begin to contemplate what would have happened if she hadn't been there.

'Nevertheless, you're not going to change my mind on this'

'Stefan…'

He shakes his head, 'Sorry Alex, it's for the best, for everyone'

'Fine' she says, eyes narrowed. 'You take me off this job, then I leave altogether'. She knows it's a risky move, after all _she_ is the one in need of a job, _she_ is the one already indebted to Black Diamond security, but she also knows her worth in this line of work and Stefan wasn't lying all those months ago when he told her she was one of the best he had ever employed.

They remain like that for a few minutes, silently holding each other's stare, willing the other to back down, until eventually, Stefan concedes.

'Fine, you can stay on the job'

Alex can feel a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

'On one condition'

'What?'

'You stay away from Piper Chapman'

Alex laughs, 'Well now, that's a little hard, considering that _i'm_ her close protection officer.

'I mean it Vause, if I get wind of one thing, one tiny thing that suggests there's something going on between you two, I will fire you. On. The. Spot.'

'Fine' she replies, stubbing out the cigar on the front door step and handing it back to Stefan. 'Thanks, but I think I prefer cigarettes'. And with that, she turns and makes her way back inside the house, knowing she's just accepted a deal that she's already mentally broken, before she's even broached the threshold of the Chapman living room, where Piper is presently sat. She's giving a statement to the police officer.

The policewoman looks up at smiles at Alex. It's clinical, professional, doesn't quite reach her eyes. 'We're all done here now ma'am' she says, eyes flicking back to Piper. The woman stands up, note pad and pen in hand. 'We just need to speak to Ethan Morgan'.

'He's in the kitchen, paramedics are finished with him I think, he may be a little concussed from what I gather though, so his recollection may not be all that helpful'.

She smiles again. It's still no warmer. 'Thank you Ms. Vause, I'll be back to speak to you shortly. She exits the room purposefully. As soon as she's gone, Alex closes the door and pushes Piper against it, kissing her full and hard, inhaling her, hands roaming every inch of flesh she can trace. And then Piper's pulling away breathless and flushed.

'Al, what the fuck?' she says, more than a little confused.

Alex shakes her head, a small smile playing on her lips. 'I just broke a deal'

'What?'

'Don't worry about it kid' she says smiling. 'I got this'.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _Excerpt 6_

 _Transcript of call recording of 7 March 2012 between Mr. Lovegood and Ms. Lawrence_

 _DL: Babe, you didn't call me this afternoon_

 _AL: I was busy_

 _DL: Were you with her?_

 _AL: Yea kinda….well no_

 _DL: Which is it? The question isn't fucking hard_

 _AL: Don't yell at me Don,_ _ **you**_ _wanted me to do this._

 _DL: The idea was_ _ **she**_ _falls for_ _ **you**_

 _AL: (silence)_

 _DL: Ava? Baby?_

 _AL: Yea…._

 _DL: You're spending more time with her than me_

 _AL: Well I have to make it convincing_

 _DL: You just need to make sure she's not gonna blab about the business, that's all ok?_

 _AL: I know Don, look, I gotta go_

 _DL: Where?_

 _AL: Out_

 _DL: Don't be fucking vague with me…you're going with her aren't you?_

 _AL: Just leave me alone Don_

 _DL: Is that where you were last night?_

 _AL: (silence)_

 _DL: Goddamnit Ava, will you just answer me?!_

 _AL: Yes ok, I was…..happy?_

 _DL: Did you fuck?_

 _AL: Wha…no…no we didn't, Alex isn't like that_

 _DL: No? all romantic is she? Wined and dined you first._

 _AL: Don…don't_

 _DL: Fucking dyke_

 _AL: Don't call her that Don…_

 _DL: I'll call her what I damn well please, she's the fucking hired help, don't you go forgetting that._

 _AL: She may be hired help, but she's_ _ **my**_ _hired help_

 _DL: Hired by your rich daddy, because his precious little socialite can't be in public without one, she's far too delicate_

 _AL: Fuck you!_

 _DL: You wish baby, you wish._

 _AL: You make me sick you know that Don? Sick!_

 _DL: Yea, well you just take care of your end of the bargain, cos if she goes to the cops, it won't just be me going down, you've been in on this too_

 _AL: Well I want out_

 _DL: What? Is this cos of her?_

 _AL: No…it's nothing to do with her Don, but it's risky and…well.._

 _DL: You put in the collateral for this business, so if it goes wrong…._

 _AL: Don't threaten me Don.._

 _DL: Why, you gonna set your little girlfriend on me?_

 _AL: You're such a fucking jerk_

 _DL: Just stick to your side of the bargain and that includes NOT fucking the dyke_

 _AL: Screw you_

 _DL: (sighs) Look, Ava baby, I'm sorry, it's just this is all stressing me out, we need to make this watertight, ok? Make sure Vause is on side, ok?_

 _AL: (silence)_

 _DL: Baby?_

 _AL: Yea I'm here_

 _DL: You got it then?_

 _AL: Yea I got it_

 _DL: We ok?_

 _AL: Yea_

 _DL: Good, that's my girl_

 _AL: I've gotta go_

 _DL: Ok_

 _AL: Bye_

 _DL: Oh and honey, I love you, you know that right? I'm doing this for both of us, our future…._

 _AL: Uh huh_

 _DL: Ok, well keep me in the loop about Vause. Night sweetie_

 _AL: Night_

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Carol Chapman has been hysterical for the last half an hour, but now, on her second Gin, a relative calm seems to have presided. 'Goodness only knows what _could_ have happened' she says, her voice still slightly shrill as she tosses back the remnants of drink number two, steadying herself on the dining chair.

'You weren't even here' Piper replies, not bothering to suppress an eye roll, 'I was'.

'Yes, but what if I _had_ been? And look at the state of that door' she says, pointing at the boarded up sliding doors, leading to the back garden.

'I'm fine by the way, thanks for asking'.

'Piper, don't be dramatic, I did ask how you were and it's evident you weren't hurt'

'Never mind the emotional scarring of an intruder, huh?'

Carol glowers at her, before pouring herself a third measure of gin, the most generous so far.

'Do they even know who he was?' She says, after she's satisfied herself with a deep pull on the booze.

'Suspect he's one of Missoni's lot'

Carol doesn't reply, just continues quietly sipping, staring straight ahead, at precisely nothing.

'Mom?'

'Huh?'

'You got nothing to say about that?' Piper asks, struggling to keep her temper in check. Throughout this whole thing, her mother has continuously made excuse after excuse for her father and the monumental mess they have been landed in and she's not sure she can stand another minute of it.'

'Do you even know where he is?'

'Who dear?'

'Dad! You know, the man that left us in this fucked up state!'

'Do not speak to me like that' Carol snaps, eyes narrowed, bleak little slats fixing themselves on Piper. Piper notes she hasn't let go of her gin glass though, her fingers are still clamped tightly around _that._ She knows the image all too well, after all, it punctuates most of her childhood.

Misspent youth; watching her mother submerge herself in a clammy, alcohol induced fug, as Piper scrawled _escape_ over and over again in smudgy blue ink across her school note book. So firmly, the imprint could be seen well into the middle pages of the book.

'I am just so sick of _this'_ Piper says, throwing her arms in the air in exasperation.

'We all are' Carol replies dismissively.

'No, because you're full of excuse after excuse for him. Oh it was bad deal, he didn't realise what he was doing…anything, absolutely anything that doesn't implicate him'.

Carol closes her eyes and leans back in her chair slightly. She brings the glass up to her lips, brushes them against the tumbler, but doesn't sip and Piper notes, it's almost as if the action is soothing her. The cool glass against her mouth: a feeling of familiarity, but Piper's in no mood to let this go today.

'Let me lay the facts out for you shall I?'

'Piper please' her mother interrupts, her eyes flickering open, 'we've all had a tough day, we don't need….'

'The truth? That daddy was _so_ responsible he racked up such a mammoth gambling debt he had to borrow money from a loan shark to save the house, the cars, except he couldn't make the payments and then he realised, far too late, that he'd picked the wrong fucking shark to mess with, the waters got a little too choppy.'

'Piper, I will not tell you again, please' Carol says, placing her empty glass down and massaging her temples with her fingertips.

But Piper's on a roll, a runaway freight train, dangerously close to being de-railed. 'The sort of loan shark that's affiliated with the fucking mob! Good ole Bill Chapman, family man, in bed with the fucking mafia!'

'Piper!' Carol says, finally snapping. She stands up so sharply that the legs of the chair screech across the porcelain tiles in a strangled scream of sorts. 'How is this helping? You don't think I know this, you don't think that it plays on my mind every single goddamn day? But what use is it to keep dredging up things we can't do anything about?'

Piper sighs deeply, she's never going to win this battle, she never has. 'Enjoy your evening' she says grabbing her coat from the chair and making her way towards the car.

 _Enough now._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _ **Devil's hour-conversations and confusions**_

 _They were midnight's children, something gave them life, allowed them to form and grow: together._

 _There's a cab ride and Alex's smile. Interlocked fingers and promises made with fleeting glances. There's a gentle sigh, the fluttering beat of excitable hearts and an infinite expanse of possibility._

 _Because; tomorrow is worth waiting for._


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** _ **If you are asking me to remember my life before you, the answer is that I cannot: for that was not living.**_

 **Flashbacks are in italics.**

 **Enjoy.**

Alex cannot recollect the precise moment it all went wrong, only that it _has_ gone wrong. And now she's sitting here, watching the meter of the cab tick by, a countdown to _nothing,_ because beside her, there's an empty seat where Piper should be and in her hand, a plane ticket to Bali, torn clean in two. So when the cab driver asks her what terminal, all she can muster is a shrug, because right now she's only certain of one thing: she's taking the first plane out of here and never coming back.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Polly Harper is sitting next to her. Polly Harper is smiling at her. Polly Harper is _judging_ her.

'I know what you're thinking' Piper says, running a hand through her hair.

'Oh?'

'I told you so'

'Piper….'

'Just cut the bullshit and tell me why you never thought I might like to know this information earlier, like you know, _before_ I got in deep with all of this?'

'I just didn't want you to get hurt'

'So you waited until _now,_ just as I was planning to leave the country, to tell me?'

Polly sighs, hauls herself up from the couch and wanders through to the kitchen, Piper trailing behind her. 'Well?'

She grabs a bottle of wine from the fridge and snatches up two glasses from the draining board. '….I didn't know you were going to abscond tonight did I?'

'Abscond implies _I've_ done something to run away from and _I_ haven't'

'That's not what I meant Piper' she replies, examining the wine bottle. 'Ugh, it's a screw top, I told Pete to stop buying these'

'Fuck the wine! You're not answering my question!' Her eyes are cold, steely, because she's not playing, she wants a response, needs the truth.

'Well I figured she'd tell you herself at some point….or maybe I just _really_ hoped that she would. Looks like I gave her too much credit'. She half mutters the last part of her sentence, not sure how Piper will react. But she doesn't say anything, just shuffles from foot to foot, curling a stray tendril of hair around her fingers.

Polly sloppily pours the wine, generous measures, she figures Piper could use it tonight. She's not wrong. Piper takes the drink silently and downs two large mouthfuls before she can bring herself to speak again.

'I just don't get why she hid it…if the charges were dropped….why not just tell me?'

'Who knows what her _real_ motivation was Pipes, you could drive yourself insane thinking about it. What'd she say when you asked her?'

'Asked her what?' Piper says, feeling a warm fluttering in her stomach: booze? Anxiety? Alex? Alex?

'Why she didn't tell you the truth about the court case'

'I….well….'

Polly places her glass on the kitchen countertop, eyes wide in disbelief. 'You mean you didn't even _ask_ her?!'

'I…it was a shock… .I got your call…and when I confronted her, she sorta looked…' She's racking her brains, trying to pinpoint the exact expression on Alex's face; anger? Shock?

 _Please don't leave. Not now._

'So what, you just got out of the cab and strode on over here?'

'What the fuck was I supposed to do?! I'd just found out my…my….Alex had been on trial for attempting to kill a man, whose fiancé she had supposedly been fucking! Rational thought wasn't exactly forthcoming!' She sinks the rest of the booze and helps herself to a refill, not even bothering to proffer the bottle to her friend. 'Its all such a mess' she sighs, closing her eyes.

She doesn't know if it's a mess worth fixing, if it's gone beyond that. But what she _does_ know, is that the stabbing pang in her chest has not subsided since the moment she slid out of the cab and into the shadowy night.

 _Fear._

The realisation hits her so firmly, that for a second, she's almost breathless and then Polly's fingers are wrapping themselves around her forearm, kind eyes quietly enquiring if everything is ok. But the words will not form, will not allow themselves to grace her lips, because she's finally realised, _fear_ was the exact expression on Alex's face and suddenly, Piper Chapman cannot help but feel, she's just made the biggest mistake of her life.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

There's a quiet hum about the airport when Alex enters. A lazy milling around of people: excitable children gently hushed and the light buzz of murmured conversation catching on the air: a Devil's hour lull.

But she ignores all the check in counters and buys herself coffee and cherry pie from a rather tired looking faux diner instead. It's the only place open in the departures lounge at this time of night and the waitress looks bored, loudly clacking gum as she takes Alex's order.

'Cream for your coffee?' she drawls. Alex shakes her head. She's done with diluting things.

She takes a seat at a booth in the farthest corner of the empty room. The table feels sticky and there's a grease mark on the top most napkin in the dispenser, but these things reassure her somehow, because when you examine things closely, almost everything is tainted in some way. Even Piper Chapman.

The whispering in her mind of _that_ name smarts, because the wound hasn't even begun to scab over, the healing process not yet commenced, because she cannot bear the thought of a scar gracing where Piper should be.

The waitress slides the plate of pie across the table and then dumps a mug down with a dull thud, filling it with coffee, one eye on the flickering TV screen behind Alex. She notices a tattoo on the inside of the woman's wrist, an amateur job. The ends of the letters lack definition, precision. The waitress catches her staring.

'My ex' she says flatly. 'As soon as I got enough money, I'm getting a new one. Asshole cheated on me with my best friend. I hope they both rot in hell'.

Alex nods sympathetically, wishing she was so fortunate.

Piper Chapman, her very own indelible ink.

'Lemme know if you want anything else' the waitress says, not bothering to hang around for a response.

Alex snatches up a fork from the pot set in the middle of the table. One of the prongs is slightly bent, but there's something about the imperfection that she enjoys, so she uses it anyway.

She slices straight through the middle of the thick crust, crimson juice lightly spraying the white Formica tabletop and stabs the fattest cherry she can find, holding it up under the glare of the raw strip light. Slick, tar like, ruby juice bleeds down the side of it. She bites straight through the centre.

Some things are never meant to remain whole.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

' _They married young, maybe too young' Piper says, not bothering to look up from the book she is reading._

' _Who did?' Alex says, placing her own paperback face down on top of the comforter and turning towards the blonde._

' _My parents'_

' _The thought only just occurred to you?' Alex says slightly bemused._

' _No…I think about it a lot actually, I just never shared it with anyone before, not even Cal.'_

' _Oh…so you think it would have made a difference if they hadn't, if they'd waited?' Alex replies, adjusting the pillows so that she's propped slightly further up the bed._

 _Piper shrugs, dropping her book. 'I dunno, but maybe if they had both_ _ **lived**_ _a little more, they wouldn't have gotten into such a mess'._

' _So is that what I am? You attempting to live a little, so you don't fall into the same trap?' a small smile plays on Alex's lips as she says it, but her mind is screaming for an answer, needs the security of that._

 _Piper's eyes gently seek hers, until they're locked in firm gaze, both of them searching for_ _ **something**_ _from this moment, but neither quite knowing what._

 _She shakes her head, 'No, no…you're something else'_

' _Oh yea?' Alex replies, 'like what?'_

' _Umm…I'm not quite sure yet, but I'm enjoying figuring it out'_

' _Like a puzzle?' Alex laughs_

' _Maybe…..except that I've kinda got the main part solved'_

' _I see' Alex says, turning back to her paperback, 'so what's that then?'_

' _I love you'. The words come tumbling out of her mouth so fast that her tongue almost trips over them._

 _And they don't need words anymore, as Alex pulls her close, takes Piper's face in her hands and kisses her long and deep and hard. Because for the first time in her life, Alex Vause is realising, that life actually has real meaning._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

It's begun to rain by the time Piper hails a cab and the early cracks of dawn are visible on the distant horizon. She's called Alex's phone at least a dozen times and the persistent ringing out is beginning to drive her insane. 'Where to?' the cab driver asks her and honestly, she has no idea, because her brain was too consumed with the thought of losing Alex to worry about the practical questions. So she tells him the airport, the only place she thinks Alex could contemplate even being right now and prays that she's not too late.

The roads are barren, the sidewalks ghostly and yet it is Alex's last words that haunt her.

 _Please don't leave. Not now._

She didn't even look back, couldn't bring herself, to, because even the slight breaking of Alex's voice was tugging at that place buried deep within her. And she swears she could feel emerald eyes boring into her soul. She remembers vividly how the firm footing of the paving slabs offered her a form of comfort. Something solid, something tangible, something connecting her with a reality away from Alex and now the same thoughts are making her feel cowardly and nauseous.

'Terminal?' He asks again after a little while.

'Can you give me a couple of minutes?' she replies.

He nods at her in the rear view mirror. She take out her cell phone and dials Alex's number. She has no idea why she expects her to pick up this time, only that she's running on hope and adrenalin alone, so she almost drops the phone in shock when she hears her voice at the other end.

'What?'

One word, not particularly pleasant or welcoming, but it makes Piper's heart soar nonetheless.

'Where are you?' she asks, her throat suddenly feeling awfully dry.

'Just go home Piper'

'We need to talk'

'Really, because you sure as hell didn't seem like you wanted to listen to anything earlier, you could barely wait for the car to stop before you were leaping out of the door. But it's my fault, I should have guessed. Never fall in love with a straight girl.'

She wasn't expecting her to make it easy, but part of Piper is still pissed, because _she's_ the one that's been lied to, _she's_ the one that's been betrayed. 'You know what Alex, you're not exactly in a position to take the high moral ground here. I just thought maybe…maybe….'

'Maybe what Piper? Maybe you could hear me out and take pity on me? Ease your conscious, so that you can sleep better at night? Well fuck that, I don't need it. Enjoy your life'.

'Alex, wait!' She says, so loudly the driver's eyes flick up to rear view mirror and regard her curiously.

'We can't leave it like this'

'Can't we?'

'No'

'Why not?'

'Because...this is…..well… it's _us'._ It's barely a whisper, like some delicious secret that she is reluctant to share, that she doesn't want to risk anyone else over hearing.

There's a pause of a few seconds and Piper's not entirely confident that Alex hasn't hung up.

'I'm at terminal seven' she finally says, 'you've got twenty minutes'

And then the line goes dead. But Piper's smiling all the same.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 **A/N: Just to give you the heads up that the next chapter is going to be the finale. I had wanted to make** _ **this**_ **the last one, but it somehow felt a little rushed to do so and I wanted to do the story justice, so it means you get an extra chapter, if nothing else.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Blood & Fire. Brooding & Desire.**

 **The flashbacks are in italics.**

 **Enjoy.**

 _There's a buzzing sound, sort of stifled, almost there but not quite._

 _Alex Vause is eleven years old. She lets herself into the compact apartment after school and fixes herself a messy sandwich; squashing dollops of sickly jelly and oily peanut butter between two slices (crust-less of course) of wonder bread. She licks the knife and her sticky fingers and is about to take a large bite when she first hears the light buzzing sound, so gentle, it's almost a hum. She immediately drops the snack onto the kitchen countertop, curiosity getting the better of her and pricks her ears up, determined to find the source of the sound. It doesn't take her long to track it down._

 _It's a Wasp; trapped in a powerful beam of late afternoon sunshine. Alex tiptoes closer, breath caught in the back of her throat, because even at eleven, she knows there's something wrong about watching something in distress, but she can't help herself all the same._

 _It doesn't take Alex long to realise that the insect is being fried alive, it's wings moving in a rapid fizzing motion and for a fraction of time, there's a certain giddiness to be had in knowing the fate of the creature resides in her hands and hers alone. She manages five seconds before she puts it out of its misery, by squashing it with a rolled up newspaper._

 _She dumps her sandwich in the trash, appetite now vanished, retreats to her room and curls up on the creaky single bed._

 _She chooses not to dwell on the thought of the fleeting high she felt, pushing it to the back of her mind and screwing her eyes shut, until a light sleep carries her away with it, leaving only a faint smile pulling gently at the corners of her mouth._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _Ava has been crying for the last ten minutes, great heaving sobs like a stroppy toddler, but Alex is struggling to elicit even the merest ounce of sympathy, not after what she's just confessed to._

' _So you see Alex, it wasn't me…well not really….it was Don…'_

 _Alex's fists are firmly clenched at her sides, blood pounding behind her eyes._

' _Alex? You're scaring me now' Ava says, her voice, still shaky, desperately trying to stifle fresh sobs. 'Alex' she continues, tugging at her arm._

' _Get. Your. Fucking. Hands. Off. Me' Alex snarls. And almost immediately Ava snatches them away, as if she's been stung. And she stands like that for a few moments, numb from shock, mouth slightly agape, awaiting Alex's next move with a sickening trepidation._

' _So this is why you tried to kiss me at the regatta gala? It was all part of this twisted little plan that you had with that manipulative cunt of a boyfriend?!'_

' _Yes…but I had already started developing feelings for you by then Alex…I wanted to kiss you…..I wanted you to hold me….I just wanted_ _ **you**_ _' she sniffles, wiping new tears away with the back of her hand._

' _So why bother to tell me now?' Alex snaps, eyes dangerously narrowed. She's beginning to feel increasingly jittery, as if the very air around is being sucked out of the room and she's slowly being suffocated._

' _Because I don't want to do this any more, I told Don…I told him I want out and…and….'_

' _And what? Just fucking spit it out will you?'_

' _And, I love you Alex…I really do'_

 _Alex turns away, cannot bear to look at her for a second longer, the woman that had been plotting to ruin her career…her life. 'Please! You mean your twisted little plan wasn't working because I had busted it open.'_

' _But I could have lied to you when you confronted me tonight, could have brushed it all under the carpet, but I didn't, doesn't that tell you something?'_

' _Oh yea, sure it does. It tells me you're dumb as fuck as well as being easily led'._

' _No Alex, please, listen to me…'_

 _But Alex is in no mood to heed her words. 'Tomorrow, I'm off this job, you can find yourself another fucking patsy.'_

 _Ava swallows hard, taking in the new information, trying to regulate her breathing. 'We just both need to calm down a little' she insists. She disappears out of the kitchen momentarily and returns with a bottle of bourbon and two crystal tumblers._

' _You toasting something?' Alex sneers._

' _Don't be like that, please' she says. Alex casts her eyes over her. Her hair is ruffled, her make up smudged and she looks so young, so pitifully young, that Alex can feel her resolve softening a little. 'Just one drink' Ava insists, pouring two measures before Alex has the chance to protest. Alex doesn't reply, merely takes the glass that is offered to her and takes a deep sip of the liquor._

' _You know what the most fucked up thing about all of this is?'_

 _Ava shakes her head slowly._

' _I had no intention of going to the cops about your boyfriend's petty little drug ring, I just do my job, that's what I get paid for, even when that piece of scum was offering me a free hit and a job and whatever else his deluded little mind thought was going to sway me. But now….' She tails off, her eyes shimmering dangerously as she regards Ava over the rim of the glass._

 _And suddenly Ava snaps to attention, as if a switch has been flicked. 'Now what?' she says, her voice trembling a little, her hand failing to remain steady as she brings the glass up to her lips. The liquid sloshes around inside, crashing against its crystal confines._

' _All bets are off' she grins wickedly._

' _I wouldn't bank on that' a voice booms behind her. She spins on her heel, locking gaze with Donovan._

' _And here comes the fucking organ grinder' Alex says tossing back the remainder of her drink and placing the glass on the counter top with more force than is strictly necessary._

' _You might wanna calm down there Vause, because from where I was standing, it sounded like you were making threats and someone like you…well you're in no position to make threats'_

' _Someone like me? What the fuck's that supposed to mean?' Alex says half laughing, figuring that he's bluffing._

' _You want me to spell it out in front of the little lady here?' he says nodding towards Ava._

' _I want you to leave Don' Ava says, trying to sound firm but failing miserably._

 _But if he's heard her, he's choosing to ignore it, his attentions are now reserved firmly for Alex._

' _Alex Vause, poor little bastard child' he grins, inching towards her. 'Unloved….unwanted…..'_

 _And now he's so close that Alex can feel his breath on her face and all she knows is that she needs air, as she tries to remain calm, call on all her years of training and experience and to ignore the fact that even though her shift ended two hours ago, she's still wearing her holster….complete with gun._

 _His breath is laced with raw liquor and cigarettes, but he certainly seems more lucid that she feels._

' _People like you' he continues, 'need to be reminded of their place….'_

' _Don please!' Ava says tugging at his jacket. He swats at her like she's an errant bug and she scuttles away as if she is, tucking herself away into the furthest corner of the kitchen._

 _Alex uses the distraction to move her hand, fingers curling around the cool metal of the gun. So when he's spitting at her, reminding Alex that she's a 'dyke bitch', what was supposed to be a warning shove, an alarm bell for him to back off, only seeks to flare his temper and before she knows it, he's smashing the bottle of bourbon against the worktop, brandishing the jagged edges in her face. And just before the crimson wave finally comes crashing down, Alex can't help but think what a strange beauty there is in the imperfect edges of the glass. And it makes her smile._

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Alex watches her phone, as it gently creeps across the Formica with a Waspish hum _,_ courting the lip of the table and a descent into _nothing._ Piper's name flashes on the display for the fifth time in as many minutes. She ignores it. The waitress clears up her plate, refills her coffee and throws her a strange glance. 'Someone you don't wanna talk to huh?'

'Maybe' Alex replies, because truthfully, she's not even sure herself.

And then the display is dulled, the phone momentarily stilled, before the cycle resumes a few seconds later. 'Well whoever it is sure as hell wants to speak to you. Who knows, maybe there's a fire?' she grins, before making her way towards the kitchen.

A fire would be less consuming, less destructive Alex thinks. Whereas Piper Chapman, well, she's savaged her soul, like an untamable beast.

And then the display is illuminated again, call number, nine? Ten? Fifty? And Alex knows she shouldn't, but part of her is taking a deep satisfaction in making this girl squirm. She knows Piper's mind will be in free fall; stabs in the dark and desperate second-guessing.

 _Let her fry in a sunbeam._

But she doesn't last much longer, before she's picking up and telling Piper she's got twenty minutes. She'll give her thirty she thinks. It's closer to an hour in the end.

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Her coffee is stone cold by the time Piper arrives, but she only notices once the blonde is stood in front of her, as if she's triggered the resumption of all her senses.

 _Beware the savagery of the beast. It will tear you limb from limb._

But there's no Mike, no Ethan. No one. Just Piper, tightly clutching a hold all, cheeks nipped and raw from the early morning frost and a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

 _Let her fry in a sunbeam._

'Alex' she breathes, with anxiety or relief, Alex isn't quite sure, as she slips into the seat opposite her.

'Why are you alone?'

'I escaped' she says smiling, 'from everything: from mom and dad…all of it…. because _that_ isn't me any more'. And immediately the lines of her face soften, making her look younger, more vulnerable and Alex has to fight the urge to pull her into a tight embrace, because she's pretty sure if she does, she'll never want to let her go. So she reminds herself of the way Piper slid out of the cab, melting into the night as if Alex were a mere smudge on the canvas of her life, something that would fade out over time…a ghostly residue: a mistake.

'This isn't a joke Piper, you know it's not safe…'

'Well I'm here in one piece aren't I?'

'I'm not sure why'

'What?' Piper replies, her face immediately dropping.

Alex holds her gaze, emerald eyes lacking their usual warmth. Piper Chapman: fair weather reveler.

She's not sure if it's a question or a statement. Doesn't want to ask the former, can't accept the latter.

'You want comfortable Piper? Then turnaround the way that you came and….'

She wants to tell the blonde to forget her, but she's scared if she says it out loud, she'll accept the invitation, maybe part of her wants this get out clause, just needed face-to-face confirmation from Alex.

A thick silence settles around them momentarily as Piper gathers herself to deliver what she's been rehearsing for the whole journey over here. So when she asks Alex why she lied to her, it sounds too practiced, too cold as if it's detached from her, but she doesn't know how to make it better, make this moment right again. So she leaves the words hanging in the air, like a burgeoning monsoon cloud, ready to spill its wares.

'I didn't lie' Alex replies through gritted teeth, imagining the smug look on Polly _fucking_ Harper's face as she dealt out _those_ cards to Piper.

'But you didn't think it was something that the person you were planning a new life with, _may_ want to know?' Piper's eyes are wide, incredulous and it is only now that Alex notices the skin around them is puffy and tender, spilling her hurt feelings in the cab ride over and the thought makes her soften a little, because in truth, none of this is Piper's fault. Not really.

So she tells her about the set up, the foiled plan, of Ava and Donovan, as their lies came tumbling down around them under the watchful eyes of the courtroom, of relief and regret. But she doesn't get to finish the story, there's no need, because Piper Chapman's lips are crashing into hers and suddenly, everything is remarkably ok and she finds herself awfully glad of the _two_ tickets to London nestling in her coat pocket.

Sunbeams can be pretty sometimes.

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It's lunchtime when Stefan takes receipt of the package (a small padded envelope) that has been specifically addressed to him. He opens it with a little trepidation and his curiosity is heightened when a cigar drops onto the table. He carefully unfolds the accompanying piece of paper and immediately sighs in frustration when his eyes glance over the first sentence, but he reads on all the same.

 _Dear Stefan,_

 _Please accept this as my formal notice of resignation from my post at Black Diamond security. You've done more for me over the years than I'm sure I deserve and thank you just didn't seem to cut it, so, I hope you'll accept this cigar as a form of gratitude. It's Nicaraguan, the good stuff, according to the guy in the store. I hope it's up to the mark, because someone once told me, that now and again, it's good to do things properly._

 _Take care,_

 _Alex._

He picks up the cigar and examines it closely, inhaling the musky woodiness. She's right; it is the good stuff. He chuckles quietly to himself.

Only Alex Vause.

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 **A/N: So that's it folks. Thank you to everyone that read/reviewed, much appreciated. Special shout out to 'imissedyourpatronage', because she's just so fuckin ace.**


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